Hermit Crab

[Ninva]

http://ninva.deviantart.com/art/Hermit-Crab-74380282

Spoiler

This story was about a high school girl's adventure with her boyfriend. There's a lot of romantic passion - not really.
Again, I invite all readers to laugh with me.

I proof read this a few times, and I couldn't really find any errors (well, I found some, and edited them). If you find any, I'll be very appreciative.

P.S. I used the word sex, Pineapple.

 

[Halahan]

lol that's pretty good and accurately describes how both might react in that kind of situation. nice job

 

[hortononon]

great story, found an error:

I’ve own it for more than two months now

own sould be owned

 

[Pineapple]

P.S. I used the word sex, Pineapple.

Puts on his fake moustache, his top hat and monocole.

"Good job old bean"

-------------------------

Now, te story itself was good. i really liked the fact that she wanted to be a writer "reminded me of my unfinished novel: The Peaceful Hermit." yet has never read a book "Well, I haven’t. You should know me better. I only buy books because I like to feel educated." Call of desaster there.

Over all its decent. 7/10

 

[Ninva]

After I reread it' I decided I didn't like writing that style for that character in that setting. Maybe I should have been more emotional and expressive, but being female is not my thing. I'm a dude.
The thing I did like about this piece was how well Steve and the high school girl interacted. It felt so natural, but the style was iffy because the character would be more emotional due to hormones.
Maybe I'll rewrite it sometime, but it's alright. I'm still experimenting with styles and ideas, and this one didn't turn out too bad.

Oh, and thanks for the comments, guys. It really makes me happy that you can enjoy reading what I wrote.