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Donald Trump, an adult man running to lead the United States of America, bragged about the size of his genitalia on the debate stage on Thursday night.
The trouble started when Marco Rubio joked about the size of Donald Trump’s hands, an insult that—as any 6th-grade prepubescent boy could tell you—is a veiled reference to the supposed size of a man’s penis. And it is an unwritten law of American politics that no man who can become the president of this country can have a small member.
“He is really not that much of a lightweight,” Trump said, retreating from his favorite adjective used to describe “Little Marco.” “And as far as—and I have to say this, I have to say this. He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands. Are they small hands?”
Trump then lifted his bronzed mitts for the whole world to see, hoping that men would be shocked and women would faint at their mere size. His hands are in fact stubby little monstrosities and the truth is that he’s quite sensitive about them. In 1988, Spy Magazine called him a “Short-Fingered Vulgarian,” which Trump interpreted as a threat to his masculinity. As recently as 2015, the spray-tanned plum would send letters to the original author of said amazing phrase, including an image of his circled hand with these words written in gold Sharpie: “See, not so short!”
In short, Donald Trump has massively gained traction as being the frontrunner of dank memes.
The trouble started when Marco Rubio joked about the size of Donald Trump’s hands, an insult that—as any 6th-grade prepubescent boy could tell you—is a veiled reference to the supposed size of a man’s penis. And it is an unwritten law of American politics that no man who can become the president of this country can have a small member.
“He is really not that much of a lightweight,” Trump said, retreating from his favorite adjective used to describe “Little Marco.” “And as far as—and I have to say this, I have to say this. He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands. Are they small hands?”
Trump then lifted his bronzed mitts for the whole world to see, hoping that men would be shocked and women would faint at their mere size. His hands are in fact stubby little monstrosities and the truth is that he’s quite sensitive about them. In 1988, Spy Magazine called him a “Short-Fingered Vulgarian,” which Trump interpreted as a threat to his masculinity. As recently as 2015, the spray-tanned plum would send letters to the original author of said amazing phrase, including an image of his circled hand with these words written in gold Sharpie: “See, not so short!”
Donald Trump Wants You to Know He’s Yuge
Thursday night’s Fox News Republican showdown was just like the Lincoln-Douglas debates—except this time, there were dick jokes from the frontrunner.
www.thedailybeast.com
In short, Donald Trump has massively gained traction as being the frontrunner of dank memes.
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