funny warcraft 3 review

[Darg]

I found a funny review of warcraft 3 I saved from waaaay back in 2002. I didn't save any of the screenshots from it unfortunately, but all the text is there.

Enjoy.

 

[XXXconanXXX]

This had me cracking up. Some of the funnier sections I saw:

Human-Producing Stations that generate guys from a lump of gold and wood.

It's funny becuase it's true, lmao.

Some of the more popular units include a wide array of "holy" characters that heal you, fight for God, and molest young Orcs behind the lumber mill.

ROFL, no wonder I saw that Preist and Grunt behind the Lumber Mill in that one match...

By upgrading all your buildings and units to their maximum level, you may produce the coveted "Jesus Christ" unit which is adept at destroying the homosexual Fruity Elves.

ROFL.

usually carry colored flags around on their backs to show their allegiance to colored flags.

The allegiance to the coloed flag!

Nature provides them with invaluable resources such as big cats and large inebriated trees

ROFLMFAO

for example, the Undead have to build a Bone Temple that sacrifices kittens to their unholy lord who then gives them a Pelvic Bone Queen who may construct a Bone Hole which manufactures skeletal balloon soldiers who work in conjunction with the Undead Grieving Widow unit to take each individual tree apart and suck the juices from it, spit them into a frying pan, and thereby build a bone zeppelin which harvests wood souls.

BWAHAHA! Now that ones my favorite!

In addition, the humans are also able to build watch towers, which are essentially shitty and useless but I still construct them everywhere anyway

Lmao.

EASY: After playing the game for 50 minutes, the computer will have successfully constructed one farm and three peons, each of which are harvesting lumber for no reason.
NORMAL: The computer produces about one unit for each one you make, but then proceeds to send them all into the one rigged area of your town where anything entering will be instantly killed.
HARD: All the computer's units move at 400% the normal speed and can call in tactical nuclear strikes at will.

ROFLMFAO.

 

[SilverHawk]

That is just absolutely hysterical. Everyone should read that.

 

[Starcraftman]

That kid shouldnt even review, he didnt even get a grasp of the game! I have been playing the game for 6 days now and Im already level 16, whats to learn?

 

[Darg]

1) Why are you being serious? This is a joke thread. I'm guessing you've never visited somethingawful.com, so you probably don't know what the site is about.

2) He was playing Warcraft 3 v1.00. You are playing Warcraft 3 v1.18.