Writing Exercise

[Zedzy]

This evening I did a twenty minute writing exercise. I had to start out by choosing one of ten beginnings. The beginning that I used is in bold.

C&C :thup:.

Spoiler

I have one green eye and one brown eye. The green eye sees truth, but the brown eye sees much, much more. It can see people’s thoughts, their emotions, and their memories. This unfathomable power makes me know so much more about us humans, about the hate, greed, and deception that plagues this world. Like that prissy girl down the street, you would never know about her dad’s alcoholism, or the abuse in her family. How about a close friend, how would you like to know that their aunt or dad has just past away.

I am not sure if this is what you call a gift. Sure a rare and unknown power may seem great at first, but it can soon drive you mad. Hearing thoughts from everybody around you, put together in a constant, horrendous flow. Unnoticed at times it may be, but the overpowering awareness can drive you insane. At least, that’s what everybody else have said.

It’s now my third day in this mad house, locked in from the outside world. But I can still see the thoughts. The thoughts of the other patients here. Though these thoughts are never spoken, from people too ignorant to listen, or people too damaged to speak.

There is another patient here which has sparked my interest, a girl that stays in her prison cell next to me. Whenever I hear her thoughts, it’s like she knows I’m there. She said that her name was Elle. Elle imagined what her life was like before, and how it felt to be outside. I could see all of this, all her emotions, and memories.

One time in particular I saw what happened to her before she came here. She tried to end her life. Her parents ignored her, and her boyfriend was abusing. And pain grew up inside her, swelling up to the day she tried to take her life.
Paramedics rushed her to the hospital after she took an overdose of sleeping pills. She was in rehab for eleven weeks before finally going back home. After that, it wasn’t long before they sent her to this mental institute.

When I’m in her mind, I can hear what she’s thinking, but I can never respond, yet it seems like she knows that.

Note: This is not completed, it is meant to help me become a better writer by getting constructive comments.

And yes, it took me twenty minutes just to write that.

 

[Zedzy]

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[Arcane]

Very nice! The beginning totally caught my attention.
It's short, but sweet, and definitely better than some other pieces of work I've bothered to read over here.

 

[Zedzy]

Very nice! The beginning totally caught my attention.
It's short, but sweet, and definitely better than some other pieces of work I've bothered to read over here.

Thanks .

 

[thewrongvine]

Same. Is there going to be more?

 

[Zedzy]

Same. Is there going to be more?

Yes and no. Currently, this story isn't really going anywhere, and I don't really have a plan for it, though I might check up on it if I get an idea.