Random Thoughts about Love And Relationships

[FireCat]

What's the most important part of your relationship?
Well, and how important is sex in a relationship?

Other?

Just don't drool lol

PS. The Poll Just for fun!

 

[UndeadDragon]

You missed another poll option for people who are in serious relationships, but not married or engaged.

I think an important part of relationships is being able to tust your partner and being able to rely on them. I know that I rely on my girlfriend and she relies on me too. She makes me happy, and I think this is another crucial point for relationships. If you are in a relationship, but not happy then there is really no point in being there.

Also, the ability to be able to talk openly and honestly really helps a relationship. Hiding stuff from your partner is not a good way to go about things.

Sex is not so important in a relationship. If your relationship is based on sex then more than likely it will not work. However, having meaningful sex does help a relationship.

 

[Zakyath]

>You missed another poll option for people who are in serious relationships, but not married or engaged.

The poll is not what's important in this thread, as FireCat said, "The Poll Just for fun!". And considering this poll is different, as you said yourself, it isn't relevant wether he's seen the previous poll or not; which he probably has (FireCat seems to be everywhere)

OnT: That depends on the relationship. Some want relationships just for sex, but the feeling must be mutual. And even if feelings are involved, sex is important - if not, there isn't much that differs from regular friendships.

 

[Bronxernijn]

The main part of any relationship is trust. Then there are relationships where there is a sexual thing (called relationships, these are exclusive towards one person only in most people's books) and platonic relationships (you refer to these as 'friends', and it's not a sign of polygamy if you have multiple).

Sex is a part of love, for me. It's probably the most intimite you can get with anyone.

Then we also have these friends doing each other, we call them f***buddies. This relationship ends when one of the two falls in love, or it becomes a love relation when they both do (but I heard the game is to not fall in love here). Or as some guru said: you got friends, and then you got friends you get to see naked.

 

[Samael88]

I'm currently single and have been for two months.
My previous relationship lasted for about 4 years and it ended due to lack of communication.
I would say that communication has been the key to every relationship I've been in and sex has been seen as just a bonus(a good one at that).
A good sexlife is important for me though, mostly because... well, it's sex^^

 

[DDRtists]

Some want relationships just for sex, but the feeling must be mutual. And even if feelings are involved, sex is important - if not, there isn't much that differs from regular friendships.

Wooooh, I have to completely disagree with you there buddy. If the only thing different from your friends and your girlfriend is the fact that you get to have sex, you have one f**ked up relationship.

I don't do going steady. I date, but I never commit to one girl. I hate commitment, I enjoy the single life, and being able to do what, or who, I please without having to worry about someone else that probably won't even be there in 3 years.

I'm going to enjoy my "party years", and then when I'm a bit older, then worry about settling down. Now, if I was to meet someone I REALLY like, thats a different story. However, I won't just date some chick because I think shes hot like most do, I have to be really connected to her.

 

[ElderKingpin]

the overall reason to date, is to inevitably find the one who you are going to marry, because you really do not want to become a statistic of divorce. Some people do it for fun or whatever, thats fine and dandy, but it'll come time to take it a little more seriously (not too much ), or you could just choose to be single, but i have honestly seriously contemplated this idea because i myself am going to choose to be single, can you really live by yourself for that long with no other person to be your anchor.

 

[DDRtists]

can you really live by yourself for that long with no other person to be your anchor.

It has never bothered me, I actually like being alone or with a friend (Male or Female, doesn't matter) in a non-romantic way. Hardly do I ever feel "lonely", and if I ever do, I can invite someone over to watch a movie or something (or hook up), so you could call that "dating" I guess. I just don't commit, I don't like it, I don't like the feeling, I just don't like it at all. Lol

I feel a lot more at ease when I'm hanging with friends, as I don't feel like I have to watch what I say or do in fear of saying/doing something my girlfriend doesn't like. I know the whole "If you find someone that you love, yada yada" shit, but in all truthfulness, EVERYONE will have something that bugs them that you do. And for me, I rave a lot, and occasionally party, and I get really really flirty when drinking or consuming drugs, so I'd probably get in a looooot of trouble if I was dating someone at this point in my life. Plus, I have a lot of friends that I've met at raves that I can go places with and it's pretty much like I'm with them. Holding hands and cuddling and shit at movies and such, and we both go into the date with the knowledge that we're just friends but we want to go on a date romantically for that day/night. It has never bothered me not having a "permanent" girlfriend, I don't feel as committed to having to call them or talk to them on a daily basis like a lot of girls feel guys need to.

Maybe I'm just bitter when it comes to girlfriends, but not my thing. :thdown:

 

[FireCat]

EVERYONE will have something that bugs them that you do.

That's part of life isent it?

Like what Samael88 said

I would say that communication has been the key to every relationship

QFT

I get really really flirty when drinking or consuming drug, so I'd probably get in a looooot of trouble if I was dating someone at this point in my life.

Probably? I'm pretty sure you would be.

@Zakyath

 

[DDRtists]

That's part of life isent it?

Like what Samael88 said QFT

Communication isn't going to solve something that just naturally bugs you. Communication will help in discussions/arguments, but it's not going to help if your girl does something annoying. You can't just be like "Hey don't do that", thats a bit controlling. You have to suck it up and deal with it, unless it's something that really really bugs you, then I guess you could mention something about it or just call it quits.

 

[FireCat]

Communication isn't going to solve something that just naturally bugs you. Communication will help in discussions/arguments, but it's not going to help if your girl does something annoying. You can't just be like "Hey don't do that", thats a bit controlling. You have to suck it up and deal with it, unless it's something that really really bugs you, then I guess you could mention something about it or just call it quits.

I don't agree at all! and sure it does solve, If you and her talk about it . Seriously It isn't hard.

So you mean! You would Just be cranky because It's naturally? and not saying something what you are annyoing about to her and opposite to you.

 

[DDRtists]

I don't agree at all! and sure it does solve, If you and her talk about it . Seriously It isn't hard.

So you mean! You would Just be cranky because It's naturally? and not saying something what you are annyoing about to her and opposite to you.

When you date, you date the person for who they are. If you're constantly communicating about stuff that she does that bugs you, you're trying to change that person. If a person has that many things that bug you, clearly they're not someone you should be with. Sure, a few things I guess it's cool to talk about. But I know people with the same mindset as you that are constantly like "Stop that bugs me" and always getting mad about stuff. Thats not something you should have in a relationship. You should never have to try and make someone change a ton of stuff about their lifestyle and how they've always been because YOU don't like it. You should have seen it when you were dating and not after you already committed, and thus not have taken it further. Sure, some people are okay with hearing that things bug you, but if you really think about, if you constantly say stuff to them about things, you're being a slight bit controlling...

But as for me, there are VERY few things that bug me with people. I am open with nearly ANYONE, regardless of sexual preference, race, skin color, or looks. You're cool to/with me, I'm cool with you. But if it's something that REALLY bugs me, I'll give it a shot at communicating. However, if it's just a small thing that shouldn't bother me (We all know we have a few of these kinds of things. Lol), I'll suck it up. But if the girl is constantly doing things that bother me, I'll sit down and talk to her and say something like "Hey, you're a really cool girl, but it's just not working out. I'm sorry". Now arguments are solved sometimes if you sit down and actually talk, I agree with communication there. But not like "I don't like when you do that" type stuff that doesn't need to constantly be pounded down their brain that you don't approve of their lifestyle or style. It's also going to make the girl really self-conscious, which is a big no no.

Not trying to hate, but if you keep that mindset, you may have problems with relationships down the road. Unless you're one of those guys that likes girls that have no say in anything and let you do whatever, girls aren't going to want to constantly hear how you don't approve about how they act, dress, talk, or stuff like that. My first relationship I was in the same mindset as you, I always found things that bugged me about her, and I'd say so. And it really jacked up our relationship, we both always felt insecure about things. Constantly hearing that your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't like something about you or what you're wearing or something of that nature sucks.

I have gone through this a few times actually, and it actually interfered with my lifestyle outside of the relationship as well. I always felt like I was never good enough to go anywhere because I was always told that. When I broke up, I felt a lot more at ease with myself and my image. Perhaps it's just because I've gone through it, and once again no hate, or the fact that you're a bit younger and haven't, but I'm just telling ya man, thats not a good mindset to have.

:thup:

 

[FireCat]

Yea that’s right, you date the person for who they are But you must to have a good communication with each other and learn to listen to each other. That's doesn't mean you try to change your partner in any way. But sometimes it relief your thoughts and you feeling. And no one said you should change your partner Or bring up it constantly. But you can always make a compremise. Yes? Well, and maybe it the small thing you should talk about with your partner really!

Btw: And no I'm not getting mad that easy that you though
I'm pretty calm really.

I always felt like I was never good enough to go anywhere because I was always told that.

What you've been told?
Maybe It only exist in your mind that you aren't good enough.

 

[DDRtists]

What you've been told?
Maybe It only exist in your mind that you aren't good enough.

...I stated examples in my post, or did you not read it?
And yes, it was only in my mind. That doesn't help ME at all, because it's MY mind. So I'm not quite sure where you're going with that...

 

[FireCat]

Nvm

 

[Zakyath]

If you don't like someone the way s/he is, then s/he isn't the one you're looking for; I agree with DDRtists.

 

[Samael88]

I also agree with DDRtists on that, but there is one exceptional case. If the sex is great it can be okay to stick to that person for a while, but only if the sex is greater than the psychological damage of doing so.

 

[FireCat]

If the sex is great it can be okay to stick to that person for a while

What!? are you kidding?

 

[Samael88]

What!? are you kidding?

Nope, I am Swedish^^

 

[UndeadDragon]

Nope, I am Swedish^^

Rofl. I love this quote.