Nice, I like it.
Some minor grammar errors, and general things I'd say is to vary your vocabulary (like you use "illuminated 3 or 4 times in this first page, maybe say 'light up' or something) and keep your tenses right, you sometimes switched from past to present, etc.
Anyways, it's great and suspenseful. The ending there was good, like a lose-win-lose-win thing o.o :thup:
I'm on a page about incorrect corrections, and spent the better part of like two hours trying to get someone to understand that -5^2 = -25, not 25, and then that post had comments get reposted because that group is self sustaining, and that person was in turn trying to explain what I just explained to them. And I'm taking that as a victory
I will be AFK for a couple of days you guys hold down the fort while I am gone. I will be checking in on my phone but that will severly limit me. Be back saturday!
I just got to watch the video because even though I was there I was trying to work out tech problems with the chat since I was the social media guy so I was distracted but check it out guys the video is super fucking great!