Need feedback on how to send a formal email to an academic institute.

[tom_mai78101]

I would like to listen to feedback before I send it off. Not only I'm just afraid of me sending a letter that's not formal as it should be, but also I want to be professional when it comes to sending formal emails. So, here's my email I'm going to send to my school, shown below.

Dear WPI,

I would like to request information on applying for Interactive Media and Game Development as a graduate student. I am also concerned about my current status when it comes to applying for this program.

As a US citizen who has lived outside of USA for nearly 11 years, I don't know if I should apply as an international student, or as an in-state student. I also don't know what requirements I need to have, for both international students and in-state students.

I would be grateful if I can understand the requirements needed before I continue my admission process.

Sincerely,
tom_mai78101

Thanks for any feedback, and if possible, what should I be applying as?

 

[Varine]

If you're a US citizen you're not an international student, just out of state.

 

[tom_mai78101]

If you're a US citizen you're not an international student, just out of state.

Oh wow, in-of-state isn't for students who resides in the same state as where the institute resides at?

 

[Varine]

There are three typical tuition rates and subsequent applications. International is for non-resident or citizens who are going to school here, typically on an educational visa. Normally this is the most expensive but there are so many international transfer grants, and a lot of the time the student's home country's government is subsidizing their education here, so that they'll come back and work in that country.

Out of state tuition applies to citizens or residents of the US, as you are, who are not a resident of the said state. Since you've been out of the country for what I'm guessing is the majority of your life, you might not still have residency in any given state even if you do still retain US citizenship, that depends on a lot of things. Like if you're parents own a house or something you can claim as an address you might be able to, but I'm not really sure, it's an atypical situation.

In state tuition is the cheapest usually and applies to those who have residency or citizenship in that particular state. Not all schools care about residency though, but most do. Trade schools that focus on game design like Full Sail and UAT don't care, but a regular university or community college probably will.

Some schools further subdivide their rates into districts as well, which is typically either at a county or some other electoral district usually, but that's fairly rare I believe. I've only seen it once or twice and didn't go to any of them.

Regardless, as a US citizen you should be able to apply regularly. Even international applications are typically fairly similar but require additional information to confirm that you have a student visa or are otherwise allowed to live here.

Anyway, since you're applying at WPI, I wouldn't worry so much about the formality in consideration that admissions are in most cases fairly friendly and informal encounters. As for critique of the your letter, for the most part it's fine. I rewrote a bit of it with annotations in brackets

To whom it may concern, [Dear WPI isn't grammatically correct; you don't address anything to inanimate things like this normally]

I would like to inquire about the application process, specifically into the Interactive Media and Game Development program [or whatever it is you're applying for], as a graduate student.

I have some concerns regarding my eligibility for entrance into this program; though I am a US citizen, I have lived outside of the United States for nearly 11 years [if you were a minor when you left this might be relevant, I'm not really sure, but it may be worth mentioning if you became 18 living outside of the US. There might be some obscure immigration laws regarding your citizenship status depending on the country you turned an adult in], and I'm not sure if I should process my application as an international transfer student, or through the regular application process [I assume that your credentials and education were largely conducted outside the US as well, so these might be worth mentioning for clarification].

Also, I would like some clarification on the admissions requirements before I proceed with my application. [list specific questions if you have any, otherwise just ask for them to point you to some general information].

Thank you/sincerely/whatever you end letters with,
Tommy Mai L8 lol

 

[tom_mai78101]

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the lesson given.

I'm going to go ask my parents to see eligibility. Then, if there are still some points in need of clarification, I'll ask the people at WPI.

 

[Varine]

It wouldn't hurt to ask them beforehand either; they likely won't care. However I don't think you need to go through this amount of effort. Even when I went through the applications at places like MIT and NYU, the admissions representatives were extremely friendly and usually try very hard to make it an informal meeting. It's school, it should be a fun experience, and though a lot of the times the stakes are really high, the school's representatives usually try very hard to make themselves accessible and on a friendly level to avoid any turning students away by making it seem like an intimidating institution. Their entire job is to help you find a way to get into the school, they'd be more than happy to help you out.

 

[tom_mai78101]

Thanks again.

 

[thewrongvine]

I disagree, ha. I have a rather cynical look at the representatives. But that's just my personal experience, I got screwed over by lazy ones.

 

[Varine]

I disagree, ha. I have a rather cynical look at the representatives. But that's just my personal experience, I got screwed over by lazy ones.

Really? I've had... issues, let's say, with some of them, but that's primarily because they are literally trying too hard to get me to go to their school. I applied for information to one a few months ago, ended up declining to apply as it wasn't for me, and they STILL call to see if I changed my mind!

 

[thewrongvine]

I think things are getting slightly worse each year. With money and the surplus of people trying to get in. A lot of my schools for example had this year their all time lows for acceptances. I dunno', I mean obviously it's different for each school and where it is but just for me personally, I did not have the best experience.

 

[Varine]

I had a terrible college experience, but god damn the reps were nice. Too nice, really, but all the same.

 

[Slapshot136]

there are a lot of "I's" in that message - if you have a (valid) U.S. passport, then you are a U.S. citizen - no questions asked, regardless of where/how long you lived there