The Perfect Day - for Him and Her

The Helper

Necromancy Power over 9000
Staff member
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1,555
THE PERFECT DAY-- FOR HER
------------------------------------
8:15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 - Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday.
8:45 - Breakfast in bed: freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants. Open presents: expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner.
9:15 - Soothing hot bath with Frangipani bath oil.
10:00 - Light work out at club with sexy, funny, personal trainer.
10:30 - Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
12:00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
12:45 - Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds.
1:00 - Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
3:00 - Nap
4:00 - Three dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from "Secret
Admirer".
4:15 - Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
5:30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe. Parade before full length mirror.
7:30 - Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers.
10:00 - Hot shower (alone).
10:50 - Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 - Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

THE PERFECT DAY-- FOR HIM
------------------------------------
6:00 - Alarm
6:15 - Blow job
6:30 - Massive satisfying [email protected] while reading the Sports section.
7:00 - Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler.
7:30 - Limo arrives
7:45 - Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 - Flight in personal Lear Jet.
9:30 - Limo to Pebble Beach G. C. (blow job en-route).
9:45 - Play front nine - 2 under.
11:45 - Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 - Blow job.
12:30 - Play back nine - 4 under.
2:15 - Limo back to the airport (several bourbons).
2:30 - Fly to Bahamas.
3:30 - Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers.
4:30 - Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs.) - on light tackle.
5.00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over, naturally).
6:45 - [email protected], Shower and Shave.
7:00 - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated.
7:30 - Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by Ice-cream.
9:00 - Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game.
9:30 - Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending over).
11:00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer.
11:30 - A night cap blow job.
11:45 - In bed alone.
11:50 - A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
11:51 - Laugh yourself to sleep.
 

SD_Ryoko

Ultra Cool Member
Reaction score
86
May I add a funny?

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man+smart woman = romance
Smart man+dumb woman = affair
Dumb man+smart woman = marriage
Dumb man+dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss+smart employee = profit
Smart boss+dumb employee = production
Dumb boss+smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss+dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
 
M

Mark YBARBO

Guest
Ho

Dinner 100 Mastercard
Theater 150 Mastercard
Massage And Blowjob 250 Mastercard
Herpies Priceless
 
General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • tom_mai78101 tom_mai78101:
    Just resting from the cloud.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hey all! Hope everyone is doing fine!
    +2
  • jonas jonas:
    Hi Vypur, how are you doing?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hey hey all's good here. Last year I dropped a message saying I'll be moving to China for a new job. Here I am in China now for the padt year!
    +1
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Past*
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Missing this place much. Wish that WE is still a thing now, just like the past when everything was so active.
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Are you in Taiwan or Mainland China?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I'm in Mainland. At Wuhan. The place where all shit began...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Lol. After one whole year here, I learnt a few good and bad things about China.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Everything you do is pretty much observed. There are eyes everywhere... They can even read your Wechat texts if they want to...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    But it's pretty much safe here. Walking alone in the middle of the night in weird dark alleys is completely safe...
  • The Helper The Helper:
    that is cool
  • The Helper The Helper:
    at least its safe
  • jonas jonas:
    Haha, I remember taking a taxi in Beijing last year and the cabbie lectured me about how safe China is compared to America, then he made a gun with his fingers and pretended to shoot in the air while making "pew pew" sounds
  • jonas jonas:
    I pmed you my wechat, I'm thinking about visiting wuhan this year
  • jonas jonas:
    Which company do you work for?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Haha yea they'd compare my country as well...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hmm i don't receive any pm? Maybe I'm using my phone. Gonna check it out using my pc later.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I'm teaching A Levels in a school in Wuhan.
  • jonas jonas:
    You should see a "private conversations" tab in the chatbox, that's where I sent it to you
    +1
  • jonas jonas:
    Wow
  • jonas jonas:
    Is the school system in your country similar to Chinese school system? I could never imagine being a teacher in a Chinese school, what's expected of students and teachers is just so different from what I'd be looking for as a teacher
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    A Levels is based on the UK syllabus offered internationally. So the syllabus is similar throughout different countries, taught in english.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I can't speak or write or read much chinese... Too difficult....... Which also makes my life here in china a lil difficult.

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