The Perfect Day - for Him and Her

The Helper

Necromancy Power over 9000
Staff member
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8:15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 - Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday.
8:45 - Breakfast in bed: freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants. Open presents: expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner.
9:15 - Soothing hot bath with Frangipani bath oil.
10:00 - Light work out at club with sexy, funny, personal trainer.
10:30 - Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
12:00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
12:45 - Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds.
1:00 - Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
3:00 - Nap
4:00 - Three dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from "Secret
4:15 - Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
5:30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe. Parade before full length mirror.
7:30 - Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers.
10:00 - Hot shower (alone).
10:50 - Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 - Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

6:00 - Alarm
6:15 - Blow job
6:30 - Massive satisfying [email protected] while reading the Sports section.
7:00 - Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler.
7:30 - Limo arrives
7:45 - Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 - Flight in personal Lear Jet.
9:30 - Limo to Pebble Beach G. C. (blow job en-route).
9:45 - Play front nine - 2 under.
11:45 - Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 - Blow job.
12:30 - Play back nine - 4 under.
2:15 - Limo back to the airport (several bourbons).
2:30 - Fly to Bahamas.
3:30 - Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers.
4:30 - Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs.) - on light tackle.
5.00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over, naturally).
6:45 - [email protected], Shower and Shave.
7:00 - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated.
7:30 - Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by Ice-cream.
9:00 - Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game.
9:30 - Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending over).
11:00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer.
11:30 - A night cap blow job.
11:45 - In bed alone.
11:50 - A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
11:51 - Laugh yourself to sleep.


Ultra Cool Member
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May I add a funny?

Smart man+smart woman = romance
Smart man+dumb woman = affair
Dumb man+smart woman = marriage
Dumb man+dumb woman = pregnancy

Smart boss+smart employee = profit
Smart boss+dumb employee = production
Dumb boss+smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss+dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.



Dinner 100 Mastercard
Theater 150 Mastercard
Massage And Blowjob 250 Mastercard
Herpies Priceless
General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • tom_mai78101 tom_mai78101:
    Just resting from the cloud.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hey all! Hope everyone is doing fine!
  • jonas jonas:
    Hi Vypur, how are you doing?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hey hey all's good here. Last year I dropped a message saying I'll be moving to China for a new job. Here I am in China now for the padt year!
  • vypur85 vypur85:
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Missing this place much. Wish that WE is still a thing now, just like the past when everything was so active.
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Are you in Taiwan or Mainland China?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I'm in Mainland. At Wuhan. The place where all shit began...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Lol. After one whole year here, I learnt a few good and bad things about China.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Everything you do is pretty much observed. There are eyes everywhere... They can even read your Wechat texts if they want to...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    But it's pretty much safe here. Walking alone in the middle of the night in weird dark alleys is completely safe...
  • The Helper The Helper:
    that is cool
  • The Helper The Helper:
    at least its safe
  • jonas jonas:
    Haha, I remember taking a taxi in Beijing last year and the cabbie lectured me about how safe China is compared to America, then he made a gun with his fingers and pretended to shoot in the air while making "pew pew" sounds
  • jonas jonas:
    I pmed you my wechat, I'm thinking about visiting wuhan this year
  • jonas jonas:
    Which company do you work for?
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Haha yea they'd compare my country as well...
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    Hmm i don't receive any pm? Maybe I'm using my phone. Gonna check it out using my pc later.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I'm teaching A Levels in a school in Wuhan.
  • jonas jonas:
    You should see a "private conversations" tab in the chatbox, that's where I sent it to you
  • jonas jonas:
  • jonas jonas:
    Is the school system in your country similar to Chinese school system? I could never imagine being a teacher in a Chinese school, what's expected of students and teachers is just so different from what I'd be looking for as a teacher
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    A Levels is based on the UK syllabus offered internationally. So the syllabus is similar throughout different countries, taught in english.
  • vypur85 vypur85:
    I can't speak or write or read much chinese... Too difficult....... Which also makes my life here in china a lil difficult.

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