A Story Contest!

linamus

I r bak!
Ellow, so far my tLoW story suxx:
A small island, who calls itself The Land Of Wonders, is existing ten thousand years. Everything was green, quiet, and peacefull. Thousand years ago, a group of archeologists discovered this island, and spreaded this sensation all around the world. This was sign for Chaos Guild... In couple of years island was invaded by nagas, bandits, undeads, demons, and other supervillains.The green world has suffered drastic evil... Hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived to the dreamland, they called themselves Farmers. They took a small grassfull edge, and established a farm. Here is where your Villager journey begins....

I want someone with good speech to extend this story, make it attractive, or gimme ideas. All story givers will be rewarded only +rep (sorry ^^)







-------------------------
Best Ideas Comes When You're Not Thinking
The Land Of Wonders: http://www.thehelper.net/forums/showthread.php?t=86883
 

Knight7770

Hippopotomonstrosesquiped aliophobia
A small island, who calls itself The Land Of Wonders, is existing ten thousand years. Everything was green, quiet, and peacefull. Thousand years ago, a group of archeologists discovered this island, and spreaded this sensation all around the world. This was sign for Chaos Guild... In couple of years island was invaded by nagas, bandits, undeads, demons, and other supervillains.The green world has suffered drastic evil... Hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived to the dreamland, they called themselves Farmers. They took a small grassfull edge, and established a farm. Here is where your Villager journey begins....
The grammatically correct version:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small island, which is called the Land of Wonders, has existed for ten-thousand years. Everything on the island was green, quiet, and peaceful. One-thousand years ago, a group of archaeologists discovered the Land of Wonders, and spread the sensation of the island around the world. This was a sign for the Chaos Guild...
A few years after the discovery of the Land of Wonders, it was invaded by Naga, bandits, Undead, demons, and other villians. The green world suffered drastic evils...
One-hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived in the Land of Wonders; they called themselves the Farmers. They took a small, grass-laden edge of the island, and established a small town. This is where the story beings...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

GooS

Azrael
"has existed for ten-thousand years" > it still exists
Anyways that's not what I've needed, I need extended story
Yes but it has existed,up until now it has. So that would be a correct.
I'll give you an somewhat reformed and extended version tomorrow or during the night, I can't do it right now.
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Staff member
I can make one, too. How long do you want it? This is for a map?
I'm gonna' get to work on it right NOW! :D

EDIT:
Once upon a time…

A small island, called The Land of Wonders, existed more than ten thousand years ago. Up to now, it still exists, lying there as a wondrous land, hence the name Land of Wonders. Everything was green, quiet, and peaceful. Thousand of years ago, a group of adventurous archeologists discovered this island, and spread this sensation all around the world. Word of this new, wonderful, and amazing island pervaded through the earth, attracting all from diverse places and cultures. Eventually, news reached the Chaos Guild... A couple of years later, the island was invaded by Nagas, bandits, Undead, demons, and others villainous creatures.

Since then, the once-green world suffered drastic evil and destruction. Then, hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived to the dreamland, unaware of the doomed land that awaited them instead. They called themselves Farmers. They took a small, grassy edge near a part of the island that had been untainted by the spreading evil. They established a farm and slowly grew from simple travelers to settlers, and finally from settlers to villagers.

Now, come forward! Here is where you make your story as a Villager…

I must admit, it's a bit short... but quality, not quantity!

Cool, it turned all blue in Word Document, lol. Hope you like it! I don't really know about the map so it's kinda' hard to make a story up for others but, here it is! Btw, where can we see information about your map?

(I saw this in the Members' Project so I em special)

EDIT 2: I just realized how many !!!! I used... o_O
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
A small island, who calls itself The Land Of Wonders, is existing ten thousand years. Everything was green, quiet, and peacefull. Thousand years ago, a group of archeologists discovered this island, and spreaded this sensation all around the world. This was sign for Chaos Guild... In couple of years island was invaded by nagas, bandits, undeads, demons, and other supervillains.The green world has suffered drastic evil... Hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived to the dreamland, they called themselves Farmers. They took a small grassfull edge, and established a farm. Here is where your Villager journey begins....
Watch your time tense and diction. And be sure you use real words.

Betterized version:

An isle, given the name the Land of Wonders, has been in existence for ten thousand years. Everything has been green, quiet, and peaceful. One thousand years ago, a band of archaeologists had discovered this island, and its sensation was spread around the world. This was an augury of the Chaos Guild; in the following years, the isle was invaded by Naga, bandits, undead beings, demons, and other libertines. This green land has since suffered terrible evil....
One hundred years ago, new inhabitants arrived at the isle, whom called themselves Farmers. They settled a small, grassy coast, and established a farm.
Here is where your journey as a Villager begins....
So is this for a map or something?
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Staff member
1.) I made one too YAY!

2.) Well, Knight did that too (make "correct" one) but he said he didn't want it or cared about it or something lol.

3.) It is for a map. It was originally in the Members Projects section but it was moved here.
 

linamus

I r bak!
^ Yeah it was in members projects
@Varine read first and third posts, I don't need your extravagant (happy fatmankev?) grammar.
@Varine after my posts lies kind of signature, and I mentioned that I need that for tLoW - the Land of Wonders.
@thewrongwinedude Your story really fits what I've needed, and this will be great cinematic with Farmers/Villagers as story tellers, ThankYou. >





-------------------------
Best Ideas Comes When You're Not Thinking
The Land Of Wonders: http://www.thehelper.net/forums/showthread.php?t=86883
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
^ Yeah it was in members projects
@Varine read first and third posts, I don't need your extravagantic grammar.

[wap, so can't add sign]
Jesus Christ, it too my five minutes just to realize that by "extravagantic," you meant "extravagant." I was like... "What's this big fuckin' word he's trying to pass off as a real word? There's no way he knows a word that crazy." But alas, it was much simpler than I had imagined.

Anywho, what I really wanted to say is that Varine's grammar is not "extravagantic," as you so elegantly put it, but rather, it's proper english. Which, although it's a closely guarded secret amongst the best writers, is truly a key component to any story. But yeah, I think Knight's version was the best that I've read on here so far, so GJ Knight. +rep for trying to help, and getting shot down.
 

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Then the villager grew massive fields of marijuana in this fertile landscape, he got high, and lived happily ever after.
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Staff member
Oh.... so I get +rep? :D

If I do, it be my #9 rep w00t!

Anyways... lol I didn't even think of The Land of Wonders for tLoW.
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
^ Yeah it was in members projects
@Varine read first and third posts, I don't need your extravagant (happy fatmankev?) grammar.
@Varine after my posts lies kind of signature, and I mentioned that I need that for tLoW - the Land of Wonders.
@thewrongwinedude Your story really fits what I've needed, and this will be great cinematic with Farmers/Villagers as story tellers, ThankYou. >
I want someone with good speech to extend this story, make it attractive
I was under the assumption that people only say things like that when they need it.
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
Well, you shoulda just got it fixed. 'Cuz that motha' fucker's dun got broke.
And you shouldn't give people -rep because you're English isn't good enough for you to understand what you actually said. When you put something, something, or something, that doesn't mean that they all go together. It means that you need something OR something else (in YOUR case, you needed someone to extend the story OR to make it look attractive, of which you obviously needed help with the latter).
 

linamus

I r bak!
My -rep was reaction to yours -rep. You can't tell that you can't understood what I've doing. Couse Knight answered 1st, and you should have been reading enough to see that grammar is least important.
@ Ninva - And what do you suggest?






___________________________

Best Ideas Comes When You're Not Thinking
-> The Land Of Wonders
-> Simple Equipment System TuT
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
@ Ninva - And what do you suggest?

[wap]
Well, by the looks if it, it seems as if he's suggesting you improve your grammar. Granted, he's being really vague by saying, "Maybe you should improve your grammar," I'm pretty sure that that's what he was getting at.
 
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