Can somebody take a look at this? #2

[Ninja_sheep]

Hey
Some of you may remember the older thread about my host family letter.

Hi guys
I'm going on an exchange year to the USA in summer and had to write a letter to possible host families so they can decide if they take me or if they take somebody else. However I'm not that good in English and I had to use A LOT of dictionary -> I probably used some wrong expressions :>

Can somebody who is good at english please read this letter and point out mistakes?

Well, at that point I misunderstood to point of the letter. I thought you have to write about yourself so the family can make a good choice, but infact you just have to praise yourself. I recently understood that when reading other host family letters.
So the old letter sucks. I made a new one. I know I'm a bit late, but I still have no host family and my plane leaves on the 20th of august. And there's a slight chance that I get no family. A very slight one. But I won't risk.

Spoiler

Dear Host Faily

My name is Julian Schafroth and I live in Liestal, a small town in the north of Switzerland.
I'm 16 years old and a 10th grade student at the Gymnasium in my hometown.
In my spare time I do the usual stuff: Hang out with friends, listen to music, or read an English book to improve my language skills. I used to play the piano but I stopped a few years ago. Recently I rent a guitar and now I am learning how to play it. I also do some workout in the weights room of our school. I'm really looking forward to try out the typical American sports like football, rugby and wrestling wich are hardly known here in Switzerland.
I’m someone, who tries to stay calm, even in difficult situations; I like to estimate things and to solve problems objective and realistic. I suppose this is one point my friends respect and like about me. Also, I’m always frank with new things and hope to be always open-minded towards everything I don’t know.

Next, let me introduce my family to you.
I have an older brother called Gregor, he's 17 years old and also plans to do an exchange year. His destination is Japan and he's already putting a lot of effort in learning the language. My mother Marion is 49 years old. She works part-time as a doctor. She also participates in local politics as a member of the city council. She really enjoys both professions and often tells a story about a patient or a recent political decision when she returns from work. My father, Gerhard, 50 years old, works as tax adviser with his own firm. He used to work in a large company but he couldn't stand always being told what to do, so he raised his own firm even though he could win more money in the bigger firm.
Me and my father often tease our mother with jokes and in the end she also laughs with us. Our relationship is very good and I am happy to have them as my family. I trust them and they support me and my decision to spend an exchange year in the US although I know, that it is difficult for them that I will live in the US for nearly a year. (My mum is already weeping)
My family is a very important part of my life and we all get along well even though there are sometimes disagreements we solve in conversations.

I would love to experience your life and be treated like a family member with all duties and rights.
I really look forward to make friends at school and become more independant, tolerant and open. Thank you so much for the opportunity to do that!
I hope to hear from you,

Best wishes

Julian

Can somebody check for language errors please?

Thanks a lot

 

[ElderKingpin]

Dear Host Family

My name is Julian Schafroth and I live in Liestal, a small town in the north of Switzerland.
I'm 16 years old and a 10th grade student at the Gymnasium in my hometown.
In my spare time I do the usual stuff: Hang out with friends, listen to music, or read an English book to improve my language skills. I used to play the piano but I stopped a few years ago. Recently I rented a guitar and now I am learning how to play it. I also do some workout in the weights room of our school. I'm really looking forward to try out the typical American sports like football; rugby and wrestling which are hardly known here in Switzerland.
I’m someone, who tries to stay calm, even in difficult situations; I like to estimate things and to solve problems objective and realistic. I suppose this is one point my friends respect and like about me. Also, I’m always frank with new things and hope to be always open-minded towards everything I don’t know.

Next, let me introduce my family to you.
I have an older brother called Gregor; he's 17 years old and also plans to do an exchange year. His destination is Japan and he's already putting a lot of effort in learning the language. My mother Marion is 49 years old. She works part-time as a doctor. She also participates in local politics as a member of the city council. She really enjoys both professions and often tells a story about a patient or a recent political decision when she returns from work. My father, Gerhard, 50 years old, works as tax adviser with his own firm. He used to work in a large company but he couldn't stand always being told what to do, so he raised his own firm even though he could win more money in the bigger firm.
My father and I often tease our mother with jokes and in the end she also laughs with us. Our relationship is very good and I am happy to have them as my family. I trust them and they support me and my decision to spend an exchange year in the US although I know, that it is difficult for them to know that I will live in the US for nearly a year. (My mum is already weeping)
My family is a very important part of my life and we all get along well even though there are sometimes disagreements we solve in conversations.

I would love to experience your life and be treated like a family member with all duties and rights.
I really look forward to make friends at school and become more independent, tolerant and open. Thank you so much for the opportunity to do that!
I hope to hear from you,

Best wishes

------------

I underlined what i fixed.
I didnt fix the specifics, like exact punctuation and how you spelled mum, because thats technically right, and people dont look for exact punctuation

 

[Ninja_sheep]

Thanks

I'm really looking forward to try out the typical American sports like football, rugby and wrestling wich are hardly known here in Switzerland.

What's wrong with this one? I mean, your solution also works but it's not really the same meaning.
Btw, isn't there a comma before the 'and'?

that it is difficult for them to know that I will live in the US for nearly a year.

Hmmm, that sounds a bit weird to me.
Maybe like this?
that it is difficult for them to know that they won't see me for nearly a year.

 

[ElderKingpin]

this is your letter >.< grammar wont be major, unless they are english teachers

 

[sqrage]

Gymnasium = highschool i'm pretty sure.

Gymnasiums here are typically like acrobatics classes and stuff.

 

[Ninja_sheep]

Alright
I sent it.

Thanks



Kinda awkward situation I'm in now.
Last year not everybody got a host family.
This year they took less exchange students, but who can tell what happens with financial crisis? How many host families won't take a student this year?
Nobody knows.
On the other hand it is normal that American families choose whether they take an guest really late. Many exchange students get their family just a few days before the fly-date.

Waiting like this is cruel :<

Wich me luck :/

 

[Danny Cross]

Do you know where you will be headed in the U.S. or do you not find out until you have a host family?

 

[Ninja_sheep]

Until i have a host faily I won't know.
They told me I'd go to the 'Heartland' wich is middle-noth. But it's like 1/3 of US, so it doesn't really help.

 

[quraji]

They told me I'd go to the 'Heartland' wich is middle-noth.

That's the boring part! Come to New York

Anyways, good luck. I remember having a German exchange student in my school, cool stuff. You can easily make friends if you're not a jerk/weirdo...we like foreigners :thup: (in some regions..)