Weird Raccoon bites off man's penis after attempted rape

The Helper

Necromancy Power over 9000
Staff member
A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert's PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

"When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

"He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

"That's gone forever so there isn't going to be much for them to work with."
 
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DM Cross

You want to see a magic trick?
Staff member
Hmm. Quite possibly the answer to all animal cruelty in the USA [despite this being in Russia?]
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
... okay, why, even when drunk, would you try and use that side of any animal that you're raping? Really?
 

Jackal

You can change this now in User CP... or Die Tryin
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
Only mainstream news source is The Sun for this story. -_-
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Blackveiled

Formerly, Ban-Lord
Lol, last time I heard this story, the guy said that he only did it because the racoon was acting "slutty".
 

Azlier

Old World Ghost
Once again, human stupidity is proven to be infinite.
 

AnthraxXx

New Member
Ouch! I don't know if we have raccoons in Australia (I don't think so), but I didn't know they could bite that hard.

Lolz.
 
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