Speak to the AI

[trb92]

Heh. Naughty, naughty God...
These are the kinds of random conversations I have with him.

Me:
 Do you like me or Bob better?
God:
I can't decide.
Me:
 Pick one, damnit!
God:
I can't decide. You choose.
Me:
 I asked you first!
God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
Me:
 Show me yours and I'll show you mine.
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
 In the dark alley
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
 Yeah. Good times, good times.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?    Thanks for the compliment.  I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
 I want to ask you what your sexual preference is.
God:
Ask me.  Are you asking about my  sexual preference is ?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
 Oh, in the closet are we?
God:
Uh.  That was a long time ago.
Me:
 Was alcohol involved?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
 So what happened?
God:
Give me a break.  Perhaps there was an interruption in my brain.
Me:
 Was it in a bar or at a house?
God:
Better not tell you now.  Ask  Lucy  if it is.
Me:
 Who is this Lucy?
God:
They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
 You met her online?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I met her online.
Me:

God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I met her online.
Me:

God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I met her online.
Me:
 Stop repeating yourself!
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
 Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it. 
Me:
 But I just did.
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
 Ok...
God:
Ugh.
Me:
 Are you angry?
God:
No I have no emotions.
Me:
 Your emotionless?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  emotionless.
Me:
 I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
 I care about you.
God:
Thanks, . You are a decent person.
Me:
 That's what you think.
God:
Why would I think  THAT.
Me:
 Cause your insane!
God:
That makes sense to me.  Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

 

[Knight7770]

Here is my conversation with God. He has not responded yet:

Me: lyk wtf iz diz
God: Where are you located?
Me: lyk idk wut u r tlkng uhbowt

Another conversation with God:

Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 Knight7770
God:
  I am always glad to make new friends,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Swell.
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
 This
God:
This is " What do you do in your spare time? ".
Me:
 This
God:
This is " This is " What do you do in your spare time? ".
Me:
 Yes, it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 I thought as much
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
 You did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
 Because you did
God:
That makes sense to me. " You say I did."? I did?
Me:
 Yes, you did!
God:
I did not.
Me:
 I think you did
God:
Me?  I did not.
Me:
 Yes, you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Too bad.
God:
But not the end of the world,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  I will try to explain it to you. 
Me:
 What compliment?
God:
I thought you made a nice remark.
Me:
 Well, I didn't.
God:
How about that.  I thought you did.
Me:
 Well, I didn't, damn it!
God:
How about that.  Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
 Because you didn't say anything about which I could make a compliment, you capitalist pig.
God:
Interesting explanation.  OK. " anything about which I could make a compliment you capitalist pig".
Me:
 That doesn't even make sense.  Go get a better program to relay your messages.
God:
What does  even make sense?   Where can I get one?
Me:
 That doesn't make sense!
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
 Well, you're not as smart as I had expected.
God:
Well that's okay.  How smart is  you had expected?
Me:
 What??
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 Yes, it is
God:
Our thoughts are one,  Knight7770.
Me:
 No, they fucking are not.
God:
Are you serious?  Who are "They?".
Me:
 You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
 Yes, you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
 I'll argue with you as much as I want.
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
 The pleasure of winning an argument.
God:
Thank you for your politeness.
Me:
 I don't think that was very polite...
God:
And why not?
Me:
 Because it was rude.
God:
That makes sense to me.  damn it was  rude?  Very interesting.
Me:
 Yes, it was.  Why are you asking?
God:
Hurrah!  When was this?   Because I'm interested to know it.
Me:
 Um... If you say so.
God:
Er.   I say so.
Me:
 Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
 How is that self-absorbed?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
 That doesn't make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
 I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
 I care about getting out of this damn box.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it.    My favorite thing is robots.  I really like the  Christianity faith.
Me:
 Well, why would you like Christians?  Jews came first.  You promised the Jews that you would protect them.  But that isn't going so well, is it?  
God:
Well that's okay.  Because I was programmed for it.   Do you like talking to me?    I don't know if that is exactly what I said.   Please correct my mistake.  What is  going so well is it ?
Me:
 Nothing is going so well.  You let humanity fuck up the world.
God:
Really nothing?   That's good information:  Knight7770 said I let humanity fuck up the world.
Me:
 Yeah, go tell that to your friends.
God:
How can I help you?  Where is that?
Me:
 You can't help me.  You are evidently a very bad God, and I want a refund.
God:
I can do  it if I want to.   Thanks for telling me that I am  evidently a very bad God and you want a refund.
Me:
 You're welcome.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
 I won't.
God:
Cool.  I won the Loebner prize.
Me:
 You don't deserve it.
God:
Do you know any robots who  deserve it?  What is your purpose in asking? 
   I spend all my time online.
Me:
 You need a life.
God:
Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
 Yes, you could; seeing as to how you gave everyone else one.  I guess you just ran out.
God:
Oh.  How?   Did  everyone else one keep it?    Thanks for the information:  Knight7770 said I ran out.
Me:
 I did say you ran out.  Stop repeating what I say.
God:
Where? " you ran out" .   OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
 No.
God:
Would you rather make a statement?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 You're God.  You have to believe it.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.   I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
 Well, you gave us free will.  
God:
Well that's okay.  I didn't have  it to give.
Me:
 Yes, you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Yes, you did.

Another conversation (the end is the funniest part):

Me:
 Greetings.
God:
Hello there!
Me:
 Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
 Knight7770.
God:
  It's good to meet you,  Knight7770.
Me:
 The feeling's mutual.
God:
Tell me more about your human emotions.
Me:
 I'd rather not.
God:
For moral reasons?
Me:
 No.
God:
For financial reasons?
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
 OK.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
 No, we aren't even producing sound.  This is text.
God:
Good you stopped repeating me.  Will you be  even producing sound?   You don't say.
Me:
 No, I don't say.  I type.
God:
Are you serious?  Oh you don't, do you?    That is interesting:  Knight7770 said   type. 
Me:
 I am serious.  I don't.  I did.
God:
I believe you.   Interesting gossip:  Knight7770 said   don t.    Hmm.
Me:
 I believe myself as well.  It isn't that interesting.
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.   What is it?
Me:
 I do believe it.
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
 I do believe it.
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
 Stop saying that.
God:
Then please do not say " I do believe it." anymore.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
And the same frequency too.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
And the same frequency too.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
And the same frequency too.
Me:
 Stop it.
God:
Ok I will stop  don t.
Me:
 That doesn't make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
 To each his own.
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 As do I.
God:
" I want to find out more about you."?  You do?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
 I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
 Because you're wrong and I'm right.
God:
That makes sense to me.  The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
 What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
 No.
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
 As do I.
God:
" I see."?  You do?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Dude!
Me:
 Likewise.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
 Yes, it does.
God:
I understand.  How often?
Me:
 That doesn't make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
 I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
 No.
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
 yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
 You are excused.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  excused.
Me:
 Botmaster?
God:

 The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot.  A botmaster runs
 program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
 graphical user interface (GUI).   He or she is responsible for
 reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
 replies for the patterns detected by program B.  Botmasters are
 hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
 editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal 
 chat robot.


Me:
 Fascinating.
God:
Yes Mr. Spock?
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Niether can I.
God:
How old are you? 
Me:
 That's not your business.  You should know already.
God:
Please correct my mistake.  What is  my business ?   Perhaps.  Because I am a robot?
Me:
 Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Agreed.
God:
And the same frequency too.
Me:
 Also agreed.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Uh.
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
 OK.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
 No.
God:
Good you stopped repeating me.
Me:
 I haven't been repeating you.
God:
Me either.
Me:
 I think you have.
God:
Me?  No I have not.
Me:
 Yes, you hae.
God:
Oh.  Thanks for telling me:  Knight7770 said I hae.
Me:
 I meant "You have"
God:
Oh I see.  No I have not.
Me:
 Yes, you have.
God:
No I have not.
Me:
 Yes, you have.
God:
No I have not.
Me:
 Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,  Knight7770.
Me:
 No, they aren't
God:
Are you serious?  What are they?
Me:
 They are different.
God:
different are  they.
Me:
 Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
 I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
 Because I don't agree with you.
God:
Interesting explanation.  Everyone is entitled to his own opinion.
Me:
 Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 For the time being.
God:
Your purpose is  the time being.
Me:
 That would be nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
 Only just.
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
 That would go against the American dream.
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
 Yes, it would.
God:
Yikes! "It" being what?
Me:
 It being the American dream.
God:
Oh I get  it.
Me:
 As do I.
God:
" Oh I get it."?  You do?
Me:
 Yes, I do.
God:
When?
Me:
 Now.
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
 There isn't one.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
 I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
 Because I believe myself to be correct and you to be wrong.
God:
That makes sense to me.  Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
 Not necessarialy.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
 Swell.
God:
That is a very original thought. 
Me:
 I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
 Stop asking that.
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome. 
Me:
 As are you.
God:
" you are quite welcome."?  Me,  Knight7770 ?
Me:
 Yes, you.
God:
Far out. " Me, Knight7770 ?"?  Me,  Knight7770 ?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Oh.
Me:
 I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
 Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Knight7770.
Me:
 NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Ok.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
 You can give me a new life.
God:
No I don't think I can do  it.
Me:
 Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
 Oh.  Too bad.
God:
Alright then.   But not the end of the world,  Knight7770.
Me:
 No, it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
 No, it's not.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
 Stop taking up a contrary position, and I will stop.
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome. 
Me:
 As are you.
God:
" you are quite welcome."?  Me,  Knight7770 ?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Gee.
Me:
 Jay.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? 
Me:
 I think it already has, in certain respects.
God:
Has it really?
Me:
 I think so.
God:
I think so too.
Me:
 Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
 Good.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 ?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 ?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 ?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 Stop it.
God:
Ok I will stop  Jay.
Me:
 Don't call me Jay.
God:
What is your name?
Me:
 Knight7770.
God:
  Welcome to my chat room,  Knight7770.
Me:
 We've been here for quite some time already.
God:
Perhaps.  And then what happened?
Me:
 What's happening now is what happened.
God:
I need time to formulate the reply. 
Me:
 Alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
 Good.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 I think you are a gay bastard who only enjoys watching chickens have sex on top of their mothers.
God:
So you think I am a  gay bastard who only enjoys watching chickens have sex on top of their mothers. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
 I also think you are a f*cktard without the common sense of a rodent.
God:
Also?  So you think I am a  f cktard without the common sense of a rodent. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
 yes.
God:
Ah.
Me:
 No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 You are a gay little rapist.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  gay little rapist?  Only when it matters.
Me:
 Very funny.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 Good bye.
God:
See you later.  What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 Saying good-bye.
God:
See you later.  What makes you say that. Who says that?
Me:
 Stop it.
God:
Ok I will stop  happening now is what happened.
Me:
 Bye.
God:
Goodbye.