WIP Ark's Mark

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Miz

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Update
I will still be editing the series, I have completely threw away my 1st introduction to my short story, and I will be rewriting it, because I have changed the outline.

Character profiles are coming soon :D
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Staff member
lol, you threw it all away? How long was it? :D Well, Ark's Mark... the name is certainly interesting. The intro is also, but it seems a bit unoriginal (with all the "gift that might be a curse" thing). Let's hope the writing itself makes it good. :)

Waiting for the story! :thup:
 

Syndrome

You can change this now in User CP.
I. Hate. the. 48. Hour. Wait. Time. Period.
seriosuly, why make you wait 48 hours before posting stories?
leave ur 1st intro on lol, from the sounds of things, its like Code Geass a bit, where a guy gains poewr to avenge someone blah blah blah...
 

Miz

Administrator
Its actually almost based on that Anime... (But it has major differences in what there powers are and he will also be hunting, Ark instead of using him as a ally)
 

Syndrome

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did you mean that he will also be hunting Ark instead of using him as an ally?
the comma confused meh lol XP

sounds great! can't wait for it :)

OFF-TOPIC EDIT:
funny how you have no story thing and already this is a highly viewed thread :p
 

Miz

Administrator
Well, I have the first section of the first part (It doesn't have chapters, so I have to use other words :p)

I am just not extremely happy how it sounds like at the moment, but by this weekend. (Tomorrow or Sunday) I will have posted something...

Although its based off of Code Geass, besides him hunting down Ark. Unlike Code Geass, the power doesn't eventually corrupt you or overwhelm you. The Power will certainly bring bad luck...

Even the title is a double meaning, Ark's Mark refers to the marking on some part of your body, you get when you make a pact with Ark. Also Ark's Mark means the damage Ark has done on the world, and/or your life. By the Way if any of you are wondering Ark looks almost like This


Offtopic Edit
- WTF is right, 817 views xD
You people must really want me to post this

Deleted Post merged...
Added Story to fiction press, this is the actual introduction; I plan to add more.

Enjoy, If you don't understand it yet you will :rolleyes:

 

Syndrome

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wow, nice descriptive writing lol, like it, but as you said, im totally confused :D
some things i saw:

"door wooden to the temple"

... door wooden? :rolleyes:

"glimpse of his reflect"
you mean reflection?

"as he cried into his hands as he repeatedly yelled"

too much 'as' :p, im not sure if you can do that... can you?
 

Miz

Administrator
well its just a draft XD
Anyway, I rewrite it again (Right Now Actually)...

But to hold you over... I wrote a quote that Ark will say;
"The Curse of Immortality is that you must bear the weight of living and the pain of death for all eternity" - Ark
 

Miz

Administrator
Update

I completely redid the Intro again, this will be the last time I will redo it for a while anyway. I did major grammar checks, but if anything is wrong. Please just PM or post in in the thread. :p

(Yeah, also 650 words longer then before Oo)

I hope to have more up soon...

 

Syndrome

You can change this now in User CP.
hell yea its interesting XP
i think that ive picked up a mistake or two, but i am watching Ju-On so im gonna find them later :p

keep writing!

- Geoff.L
 

Miz

Administrator
The Next part of the Story will be up soon... (Parts, because there not really chapters or anything).

I have been debating to keep writing this, Turn it into a RP or to throw away the idea. but I decided to keep going with it and see what happens...

So just posting mainly to say more is coming soon and I am still going with this story.
 

Miz

Administrator
After a lot of rewriting and squabbles with my Grammar editors xD
I finally got it posted, hope you Enjoy :thup:

Segment 2 - Introduction of Sera

Read Now
(Scroll down to Segment 2)

In other News -
I changed my pennamed on Fiction Press to Viking Mike 94 :D
 

Miz

Administrator
*Cough*Corrected by me*cough*
Read the story; it's grammatically correct :thup:
Well this is why its a Draft and Labeled WIP... xD
Yes, Knight did help a lot with grammar, so give him toast ^^

All suggests are welcome, though Segment 3 will be much more suspense, etc. then Segment 2... Which should be up soon (Hopefully...)

So be expecting :thup:
 

Miz

Administrator
After about 2 hours of editing and adding notes to stuff... I realize I missed out of a lot of details I was planning to do originally and the major prologue :thdown:
(2-5 pages could be added to each segment depending if I use the notes or not...)


So editing will begin for Segments 1 and 2 and Segments 3 and 4 will be up soon :thup:
 
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