Hilarious Joke

[rayquaza218]

Ok guyz, i heard this hilarious joke from one of my friends and i just wanna share it with you guyz.

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One day, in the holy city of jeruselum (lol bad spelling), three nuns were at a local priest, they were beside a fountain and were supposedly there to ask for forgiveness of their sins.

The priest asked the first nun, "What sin has thou comitted?"

She replied, "I have said a foul word"

The priest nodded and said, "I understand, go wash your mouth out in the holy fountain." The third nun started laughing wildly at this time, but the priest ignored her and went on to the second nun.

"What sin has thou comitted?"

"I have said two foul words."

The priest nodded yet again and told the nun to wash her mouth out in the holy fountain. This time the third nun was rolling on the floor and laughing her ass off.

A little bit pissed, the priest turns to the third nun and asks
"Why do you keep laughing?! and what sin have you comitted?!"

The third nun giggled and said "I have peed in the holy fountain."

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XD hope u found that hopeful

 

[Tinki3]

It wasn't that funny. But still

 

[Thanatos_820]

I find that kinda funny in some ways.

 

[rayquaza218]

Yeah its funnier when u tell it. ^^

 

[Tinki3]

Yeah its funnier when u tell it. ^^

Most jokes are

But reading them isn't that bad, it just takes the "live effect" away..

 

[rayquaza218]

Hehe how many stars does it deserve?

 

[Tinki3]

hmm. 3-4

Not 5 lol

 

[rayquaza218]

Tinki3 you got anyjokes to share?

 

[Tinki3]

Hmm.. A few:

This is why women are better:

We can get laid anytime we want


We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar


We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk


We get out of speeding tickets by crying


We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg


We can sleep our way to the top of the class


We get to shop at Victoria's Secret


We can marry rich and then not have to work


We never have to pay when we go out on dates


Men hold the door open for us


We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)


We're cuter


We lie better


We're better manipulators


We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch


We always have food in the fridge


We don't worry about losing our hair


We always get to choose the movie



Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them


Men light our cigarettes for us

Bad Memory

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it?" He says, "No, I can certainly remember that!"

Then the woman says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it." The man replies, "I can remember that! You want some cake with strawberries."

She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that, so you'd better write it down ok." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down woman! I can
remember that! Cakewith strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"

 

[rayquaza218]

rofl second one is sooo funny. Are you a girl by any chance?

 

[Tinki3]

Are you a girl by any chance?

No... lol

 

[rayquaza218]

Yeah thats what i thought XD

 

[pkraktis]

Lol I heard that one before.

 

[seph ir oth]

Here's one that I like:

A man arrived at his apartment, only to be greeted by his girlfriend packing up and leaving. He asks, "Hey babe, where are you going?" She responds, "I'm leaving you, Tom (yes, Tom )." "Why would you leave me?" the man asks. "Because you are a pedifile." Tom responds "Whoa, that's a big world for a 12 year old!" :shades:

 

[1337D00D]

....eh?

 

[seph ir oth]

....eh?

Go to dictionary.com and look up what a pedifile is, heh.

Here's another one:

One day, this girl started hitting on this guy. She was wearing slutty clothes around him, trying to touch him in inappropriate spots (too inappropriate to say on thehelper.net), as well as other things to seduce him. The guy was uncomfortable with the whole thing, but he just sucked it up and tried to ignore her. Finally, he was so annoyed one day that he decided to approach her. The guy went up to her and said "Hey mom? Can you stop hitting on me?"

 

[ayumilove]

lol nicejokes here! keep it up, <3