Report Smarter People Stay Up Later, Do More Drugs and Have More Sex

tom_mai78101

The Helper Connoisseur / Ex-MineCraft Host
Staff member
Reaction score
1,694
Sex. Drugs. Late nights.

You may be reading the first four words of my memoir. Or you could be simply listing three things that show signs of being a genius, according to various studies. There's evidence that shows that if you're spending less of your nights hitting the books and more time smoking weed and getting laid until 3am, then you're probably wiser than the rest of us. The three things that got me kicked out of college are apparently the things that the people at the best colleges do all the time.

Researchers in England have found that students studying at prestigious universities such as Oxford and Cambridge spend more on sex toys than their peers at other universities. Cambridge and Oxford's sex toy sales on just one website (Lovehoney.co.uk, who funded the research) totaled a staggering $31, 461. No word on what products they ordered, nor whether they kept their glasses on while they used them.

"The correlation probably has something to do with the open-mindedness that comes with intelligence," says Annalisa Rose, 23, who works at Honey, a high-end sex shop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. "I think that the ability to engage in an open sex life comes with the abilities of introspection and logical thought, and those require some level of intelligence. If we're talking about an open sex life that comes from an emotionally healthy place, sexual mores are mostly made up anyway and intelligent people can rationalize past them," she continued.

The 2nd part of our "genius trifecta" is drugs. Smarter people are more likely to smoke pot or do a line than the average simpleton. This is because, according to many studies, a smarter person isn't more likely to choose the "smarter" choice of not doing drugs but is instead more likely to pursue the more evolutionary novel choice, one that would inherently expand their horizons. Smarter people don't necessarily 'think smarter' - they simply rationalize where they're supposed to "feel." So while a less intelligent person is less likely to pick up a heroin habit in the first place, the more intelligent person will rationalize it. (This explains every good jazz album ever made and also every Christian rock album ever made in the same sentence.)

 
Last edited by a moderator:

seph ir oth

Mod'n Dat News Jon
Reaction score
262
here to verify that the article is speaking the truth ;)
 

seph ir oth

Mod'n Dat News Jon
Reaction score
262
General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.

      The Helper Discord

      Members online

      No members online now.

      Affiliates

      Hive Workshop NUON Dome World Editor Tutorials

      Network Sponsors

      Apex Steel Pipe - Buys and sells Steel Pipe.
      Top