The Short Story I Never Wrote...

[rappunk23]

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[Weegee]

So dont you give me that "Its not original" thing.

Its not original thing

 

[thewrongvine]

Grammar mistakes like every paragraph. Mostly like forgetting spaces,and Messing upwith Capitols. Sort of like what I just typed.

Well, not much of a short story since you're just telling about the short story.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[duyen]

This is more like a blog entry then a short story.

 

[thewrongvine]

The blog is like the story, sort of supposed to be funny I guess.

It's pretty interesting since there are so many crazy things there. Too crazy, seems a bit random, though I guess that's the point. Slow things down a bit.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[jaybles169]

It was entertaining. I like the way you write, it's similar to the way I think out loud in my head (if that makes any sense). You could have used a few more commas in a few sentences, and some slight reordering of the words.

For instance: So I got off around midnight and payed for the car winshield which was pretty expensive, just for the record.

Could be: So i got off around midnight and payed for the car windshield, which, for the record, was pretty expensive.

But anyway, I think the randomness was partly what made it entertaining. Good stuff though, keep it up. (that's what she said )

 

[DogOfHavoc]

I did not really like it. Now before you get offended, you know I'm a fan of your work. I just don't feel like this is a good example of your talent. There was not really a plot so much as a random string of events. All in all I think you can do better.

 

[Zakyath]

It was slightly too "weird". And I'm not really a big fan of the title either; it kept me from reading it quite a while, tbh

but you definitively should keep writing and keep on developing your own style. It was not bad. Just weird