Are you FUNNY? Come show us! We need funny creep comments!

Zaraf

New Member
Reaction score
22
In my TD project I'm working on, we randomly have the creeps "talk". Floating text will briefly appear over the heads of creeps at random intervals. I'm compiling a list of funny comments that will be among those randomly chosen to appear.

I have here a list of funny lines so far, most of which a friend of mine Kieve came up with. I figured he was a good guy to ask seeing as he's working on a webcomic :p (http://mechasentient.comicgenesis.com)

I noticed that some of the ideas people are having don't really make sense in the context of my map, and I realized that may be my fault since I never let them know the context :p So here is a link to a thread I made in which I explained most of the stuff about my map in detail.

http://www.thehelper.net/forums/showthread.php?t=91838

Those comments which I like, and which I think fit well for the map, I've added them to the list below.


1 "Woah, THIS wasn't in the job description!"
2 "My Ex always said I was a creep...turns out she meant literally."
3 "I'm only worth 50xp? Talk about a blow to your self-esteem..."
4 "Mother always told me I should've been a Priest, but nooo, I wanted to see the world!"
5 "There are only two constants in this world: death and upkeep."
6 "I'm doomed, aren't I?"
7 "The great thing about being neutral hostile is, you get to hate EVERYONE!"
8 "Help, I'm lost! Do you know how to get to Lorderon?"
9 "Go 6.2 miles, turn left into a big battlefield...? This is the last time I use MAPQUEST!!!"
10 "Sure, I helped slaughter a village. Is that any reason we can't get along?"
11 "Take it easy, I'm lagging."
12 "Just one Potion of Invincibility, that's all I want."
13 "I'm an army of one! ...I know, real threatening, right?"
14 "I have Spell Immunity. No really! I totally do, don't waste your mana!"
15 "Never let them tell you 'cannon fodder' looks good on a resume."
16 "Does anyone else smell burning?"
17 "He's dead, Jim. Jim? Hey, has anyone seen Jim?"
18 "And in conclusion, I hate you all."
19 "Hit me HARD! When I die, I want the SPECIAL animation."
20 "Yeah, well, YOUR mother was a forest troll."
21 "I find modern Kalimdor literature somewhat lacking."
22 "No, we CAN'T all just get along. Stop asking."
23 "Spawned to be bad!"
24 "RE-Spawned to be bad!"
25 "I think I swallowed a bug."
26 "You keep that floating clicky hand-thing away from me!"
27 "Would it make a difference if I plead for my life first?"
28 "Well, at least Bob will never find out I slept with his wife..."
29 "Fresh air, blue skies, the screams of my dying comrades - what more could I ask for?"
30 "Dammit, did I leave the kettle on the hearth again?"
31 "In retrospect, putting Organ Donor on my creeping license was probably a bad idea."
32 "Dying would bother me a lot less if I had Reincarnation skill."
33 "Someday, Clockwerks will replace us all."
34 "I ... really need to pee."
35 "Can I pick door number three?"
36 "Leeroooooooooy Jeeeeeeeenkins!"
37 "I would love a good beef taco about now."
38 "what kind of military genius came up with the idea of running infront of the towers"
39 "Damn work...and I'm hung like a centaur."
40 "Funny, the travel brochure didn't mention DEATH."
41 "Come, vacation in sunny Ashenvale! . . . I'm suing my travel agency."
42 "This vacation sucks. Next time, I'm taking a cruise."
43 "How come I can't see my own stats?"
44 "I love babies... especially with bbq sauce."
45 "Somehow, this is all my mother's fault."
46 "Ooh, hold on, my cell's ringing. Hello? ...No, for the last time, this is NOT Tech Support!"
47 "See this smile? It's just the Prozac."
48 "Ow, my arse. I should've told that goblin that 'sex machine' was just an expression..."
49 "When will I learn to not walk into random portals...?"
50 "If you expected something funny here, you're in for a big disappointment."
51 "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!"
52 "I came, I saw ... can we save the conquering for later?"
53 "My retirement plan is great. My plan for surviving until then... not so much."
54 "Does this job come with hazard pay?"
55 "Puppies taste like sadness."
56 "They lied to me. I can absolutely believe this isn't butter."
57 "This ... is definitely not Kansas."
58 "What's that? Hold on, let me turn down my iPod."
59 "If at first you don't succeed, you're probably dead."
60 "Could someone build us an Altar of Creeps, please?"
61 "Why couldn't I have been in the new Smash Bros. game instead?"
62 "Surprisingly, Murlocks don't taste fishy."
63 "Now I lay me down to creep, I pray Sargeras my soul to reap..."
64 "I picked the wrong day to wear my good socks."
65 "Tell Vince he still can't date my sister."
66 "As a child, I set fire to small animals. Now, they set fire to me."
67 "Beam me up, Scotty. For gods' sake, beam me up!"
68 "A Scroll of Town Portal? How am I supposed to use THAT?"
69 "Does it ever bother you how we all look the same?"
70 "I don't care how useful faerie fire is, I'm not wearing it!"
71 "Whoa ... the last time I was this drunk, I woke up naked and upside down in a harpy's nest."
72 "The cake is a lie!"
73 "I escaped GLaDOS for THIS?!?"
74 "After this assault, you will be baked, and then there will be cake."
75 "FREEEEEEEDOM"
76 "I will have my vengence in this life or the next!"
77 "Can someone tell me why we only come out a few at a time?"
78 "On the count of three, everyone cast particle effects! We'll LAG them to death!"
79 "This creeps me out"
80 "At least I got chicken"
81 "I REALLY should have stayed in bed this morning"
82 "You can't kill me, I'm the rebellious-yet-studly anti-hero!"
83 "Where's my stunt-double when I need 'im?"
84 "Quit dying you cowards!"
85 "FOR NARNIA!!!"
86 "That tower's power level is OVER NINE THOUSAND!
87 "I picked the wrong day to quit drinking"
88 "I should have applied to DoTA"
89 "Well, at least this is better than being a Liberty City pedestrian..."
90 "i herd yu laik mudkipz"
91 "Is this potion fat-free?"
92 "It's all that Pandaren Brewmaster's fault! ...bloody ale."
93 "We are the creeps who say ni"
94 "Come on! It's just a flesh wound!"
95 "U HaX0r!!1!1!!"
96 "Naga stole my bike!"
97 "Can I has respawn plz? k thx bai"
98 "I fart in your general direction"
99 "How the hell did I end up here?"
100 "Oh shit...I'm next"
101 "My mom always said I was an accident"
102 "Attack its weak point for MASSIVE damage!"
103 "We're gonna send you to HFEL!"
104 "That ugly guy with the beard lied to me, this is SO not Sparta!"
105 "Easy Money, he said... One enemy, he said..."
106 "Quick, I went that way! If you hurry, you might catch me!"
107 "Hey! Look! A distraction!!"
108 "Ignore me, I'm beta-testing."
109 "If I'd known it was my last breakfast, I'd have made pancakes."
110 "Wait, stop! We're nonviolent protesters!"
111 "Would it kill you to NOT kill me?"
112 "How you mine for fish?"
113 "Rocks fall, EVERYONE DIES!"
114 "I'm risking my God damn life here and you're poking critters?!?"
115 "Why do you build things you know will hurt me? ;_;"
116 "Why do we have to die for this noob player?"
117 "This reminds me of the clone wars"
118 "I'll give you what's left of this twinkie if you let me live"
119 "At least in 300, they had a chance..."
120 "I'm too ugly to die! ...uh, that's not helping my case, is it?"
121 "Does this armor make me look fat?"
122 "My creep senses are tingling. They say we're all going to die."
123 "Where the hell do all these people come from? Lordaeran is DESTROYED"
124 "That's not an arrow stuck in my leg, I'm just happy to see you."
125 "Playing death animation...NOW!"
126 "Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about not tipping the waitress."
127 "Fee Fie Foe Fum, I smell the blood of... everyone, actually."
128 "Anyone got a flyswatter for that hand that keeps buzzing us?"
129 "Yes, Inigo, I killed your father. Get over it."
130 "Where DO all those decayed bodies go, anyway?"
131 "Alright, who drew the target on my ass while I was sleeping?"
132 "SHIT! NOBODY MOVE! ...I lost a contact lens."
133 "It was either act in a George Lucas film, or die here. Look which one I chose."
134 "My dying wish is to have little X's for eyes."
135 "Dr. Remus, did you REALLY think your teleporter could...AH! SHIT!!!"
136 "Who pissed in YOUR Cheerios?"
137 "Let's hurry it up, I have an interview in half an hour."
138 "Your towers don't comply with WC3 building regulations. Please demolish and start over."
139 "Y'know what we need? A theme song!"
140 "If I live through this, I'm firing my agent."
141 "Why are we here again?... and don't tell me '42'."
142 "So THIS is why they laughed maniacally when I signed up."
143 "Hah, you call these defense towers?!? My kid builds better SAND CASTLES!"
144 "No, I'm not at all afraid of a floating disembodied hand that points us to our doom."
145 "Before we die, Bob, I just want you to know - Yes, Clarissa did cheat on you."
146 "Which one's the fire-tower? I always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory."
147 "...shoulda called in sick."
148 "I make baby Jesus cry!"
149 "I found Jesus, but then he used a Scroll of Town Portal."
150 "Help! I'm in the wrong tile set!"
151 "TD's are the reason my cell is padded."
152 "I'm attacking the darkness!"
153 "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and bang the prom queen."
154 "I love pressure. I eat it for breakfast."
155 "You know... you're almost the only evidence that I exist."
156 "Me and my boys are cocked, locked and ready to rock."
157 "We're not gutless, we're just incompetent."
158 "Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost."
159 "I'm Chuck Norris. But I was turned into THIS! REALLY!
161 "Quick, Pablo, I'll distract the border guards, RUN!"
162 "Is this the Special Olympics?"
163 "Keep going, sooner or later they'll run out of arrows."
164 "Do you know what the best thing about being me is? There's so many of me!"
165 "You don't win a TD by dying for your country - y'win by making the Builder die for yours!"
166 "After this, let's invade Russia."
167 " ;_; I wanna go home..."
168 "After you have completed this live-fire exercise, the survivors will collect their gear and board the waiting airship. Move out!"
169 "Ah! I'm in a TD?!? Where's the girl from MySpace? She said she'd meet me here!"
170 "<ERROR 404: SPEECH NOT FOUND. (A)BORT/(R)ETRY/(F)AIL ?>"
171 "Next round, we get a sorceress to lead the charge, 'cause this view is getting old, fast."
172 "I have a Masters in Civil Engineering - why can't I build some damn towers?"
173 "Someone order a pizz-ah, crap! Stop shooting!"
174 "The Church of the Defensive Tower: a suicide cult in disguise."
175 "If Jesus saves, why isn't he here covering my ass?!?"
176 "Save the cheerleader? Screw that! Save ME!"
177 "I'm sorry! I'll never telemarket again! Just let me LIVE!"
178 "This reminds me of a webcomic..."
179 "Two creeps walk into a bar..."
180 "Aww, guys, lookit the note my mom packed in my lunch! ^_^ She's so thoughtful."
181 "Psst, Fred likes fat chicks. Pass it on."
182 "Anyone got a light?"
183 "I get the feeling I'm about to be forcibly removed from the Circle of Life..."
184 "Failure is not an option! ...it's mandatory."
185 "I picked out my casket in advance."
186 "IF I WANTED EXERCISE, I'D HAVE BOUGHT A GODDAMN TREADMILL!"
187 "Vi sitter här i venten, och spelar lite DotA ... oh wait, wrong game."
188 "Life is hard. Where's my razor blade?"
189 "Can't I just go back to a melee map? ;_;"
190 "Fred's got 20 gold in his wallet! Kill him instead!"
191 "This reminds me of when I threw a rock through that Orc Shaman's tent. Good times..."
192 "Oh hey! A lucky penny!"
193 "Your clothes - give them to me, now."
194 "Look at it this way: in a hundred years, who's gonna care?"
195 "There's no fate but what we make ourselves. Well, that and our pathing triggers."
196 "Destiny calls! ...but I forgot to give her my cell number."
197 "You're bleeding. That's good. Let's see if we can get any more out of you."
198 "Everybody dies - TD's are as good a reason as any."
199 "Shoot yourself, we'll call it square."
200 "I can't die yet! I'm still a virgin!"
201 "People like you are the reason people like me get sent to asylums."

So keep in mind, we want comments that would make you chuckle or laugh out if you saw a creep saying it (in a TD). Please post your ideas, and those that we like, we'll be sure to include in the map!

We've managed to get over 150! Let's see if we can get good ones up to 200! :)
 
K

Kyrios

Guest
This.... Is......... (Name of your TD)

GRAWSPOTABLINISERNARB! Sorry terretes*sp*.

Are we there yet?

SO uhh.. Whats the point of this again?

whosyourdaddy...... Darn it worked in single player

CHARGEEEEE!!! But to where?

PIZZA HUT! Oh wait thats just a tower.

KILL! SMASH! BURN! Wait I cant do that My job is to run on a dusty path.
 

WolSHaman

knowledgeably ignorant
Reaction score
51
This.... Is......... (Name of your TD)
omfg that's getting so old and overused it's not even funny. It's lost anything it used to have that moderately resembled humor because it has become just to overused. If someone mentions that once more casually and not trying to piss me off, I'm going to have to murder someone
[/rant]
 
Reaction score
333
omfg that's getting so old and overused it's not even funny. It's lost anything it used to have that moderately resembled humor because it has become just to overused. If someone mentions that once more casually and not trying to piss me off, I'm going to have to murder someone
[/rant]

I agree, it is total madness.
 

BANANAMAN

Resident Star Battle Expert.
Reaction score
150
You seem over powered....
I like to kill stuff.
Hehehe fire.
Poooooooootioooooooonzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Do i taste good?
Do u like pie?
The path to enlightenment...
Is not about reflecting...
IT'S ALL ABOUT ERECTIONS BABY!!
Hut hut huppitty hup...
I dunno if i've been told...
ur fucking defense is getting owned.
Sound off.....1,2
Sound off....FUCK YOU!!
The Cake is a lie
I came...


Note:Sexual inuedo always works..

i find it weird that we only run past towers and not shoot them.
I hate you.
This feed has been brought to you by....
I need MOAR.
BOSOMS OR BEGONE WITH THEE....
Bananaphone ring ring....
SURPRISE BUTT SEKZ!!
it's all fun and games till someone's ass gets killed.
Chocolate rain....
Click me.
Did u click me?
Well...at least i fucked your mom.
Damn boi fuck me. FUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEEE!!
I want to spank your hot nazi ass..
 

AceHart

Your Friendly Neighborhood Admin
Reaction score
1,495
It is a good day to die.
To drop, or not to drop? Do I drop any items?
Hey look, there's some city over there.
This is a Tower Defense? Then where are the Towers?
This creeps me out.
SPARTA! No, wait, LORDAERON!
What happens if we make it to the end?
Is there anything interesting in this map?
+8 Sword of Wootness. Nice! Why don't I have one?
Do I look fat in this outfit?
See the world they said. See new people they said. That they would shoot at me they didn't say.
Make it so.
I'm going, I'm going. No pushing from behind.
Why are we all walking in a line?
So, there's only 100 of us?
We will perish, or die!
They do take prisoners, right?
One step closer to oblivion.
I wonder what's for dinner.
Is this your first TD too?
Lightning Tower? Boooring...
Having 6 arms is a definite advantage in hand to hand combat.
What did you expect, I'm a Creep.
Suddenly, I'm not so sure anymore coming here was that great an idea...
Real Time Strategy they call it. Looks more like Sim City.
In the end, there's this region, see? And we, like, you know, walk there.
Come on. This can't be all of it.
Think you're tough? HA! Show me.
I'd like to have a talk with the terrainer.
The way to hell is paved with Guard Towers.
@!#?@!... broke a fingernail.
Don't worry, I don't like you either.
The other job option was lion tamer...
Uh, wait. What you mean we just "run past quickly"?
Where's the hacking, slaying and general mayhem?
I'm confused. Yeah, me too. No, not you. What?
Follow the front-man? And that's what you call a battle plan?
Come back later, I'm not drunk yet.
Good luck charmes are overrated.
Funny how we all look the same in this wave.
That I am here, I can understand. But what are you doing here?
What can I say, I hate paperwork.
I have a bad feeling about this.
This is no time for making new enemies.
Tell 'em I said something witty.
Am I seeing things, or is that a line of towers over there?
Please don't hurt me.
I think I'm going home.
I'd rather be fishing.
Can't this just wait for tomorrow?
Hi, I'm a nameless Creep, but you can call me Bob.
Nothing ever does 20-150 damage!
Yeah, but it's a very small tower.
Ha! I NEVER beg for mercy.
I know a tower when I see one.
This is the killer wave!
Are we all being shot at or is it just me?
I laugh at danger! Then I run away.
Towers are interesting, but of no military value.
This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Hi, how are you?
No worries, I can take a hit or two.
Everything looks much bigger from here.
Potions of Triplicate Salvation are for wussies.
I really should have stayed in bed this morning.
 

W!†A_cRaft

Ultra Cool Member
Reaction score
28
"what kind of military genius came up with the idea of running infront of the towers"

PERSONALY I LIKE THIS THE BEST!!

"I realy picked a day to forget my invisibility potion"
"CHAAAAAARGE!!!!!!!....... where are we going?"
 

Daskunk

SC2 Forum MVP - TheSkunk #386
Reaction score
186
Hmm...

"Hmm Hmm hmmm..Walking, walking.. I wounder where we're going.."
"This way! This Way! This way to the snack shack!....heh...Dumb ogers.."
"Man, thats Such a Inefficient way to do it.. They should nuke us all or build a trap..."
"Hahaha! You cant get me! Im gonna make you lose!...Man, hurry up and kill me..You suck at this game.."
"This is the biggest amount of emos ive seen in a long time.."

Meh. Out of ideas, or their allready said.
 

WastedSavior

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Reaction score
217
I've got a stitch in me kilt for every player i've defeated..

I've got three words for you punk. Spare me... PLEASE!

Secret Level: If you kill me you lose 500 gold.

Who's in charge here?

If i shoot myself in the foot can i go home alive?

They gave me a choice; Die in prison, or die here. I made the right decision.

I shoulda served lordaeron..but i needed the dental.

99 battalions of creeps on the path, 99 battalions of creeps.. Shoot one down..

If i had a gold coin for every time i've died, i'd build my own F*cking towers.

Don't kiss the murloc, she doesn't turn into a princess!

This is your maze? I've seen better..

You know, if we all emptied our pockets before we marched you wouldn't be able to loot our gold.

Archimonde had a similar battle plan.

I uh think i took the wrong portal, is this creeps anonimous?

Get to the choppa!

I'll be right back, with a bigger axe.

Quit dying you cowards!

Do you suppose death tastes anything like a tomato?

I thought this was the gay pride parade..!
 

LoveTD's

New Member
Reaction score
34
"Hey pall, fake dead they won't shoot... ow w8 what if the next tourists arrive? we'll be still lieing "dead" with some (bunch of chinese people creeps?) :O"
 
1

131ackout

Guest
(beep)
What's that?
Oh, it was only a beep.
No, It's not!
Maybe it is.
Or.. It's my fart?

LOL
 
0

00Nobody

Guest
"Uhh, I think we're surrounded."
"SHOOT AT THEM ARLEADY! Oh wait... Who knows how to use a gun?"
"They have GOT to be hacking. No WAY they have enough additional Pylons."
"I think I'd rather submit myself to the Homosexual Demons Rape Committee, at least I'll survive. Oh crap, what if I get an Infernal?"
"I'M ALLERGIC TO YOUR TOWERS! DOCTORS EXCUSE NOW! KEKEKE!"
"I really wish I coulda been that new DotA hero, at least when I die I rez."
"Ugh, this is the WORST time for me to get diarhea."
"That tower's cost is..... OVER NINE THOUSAND!"
"I think i just sneezed out a toucan. Uhh.... can I be excused?"
"RAGE!"
"I forget.... How much are they paying us to do this? It feels like all we'll get is $5. Oh well, I'll just blow it on drugs anyways."
"I wish I was Sonic. Or Shadow. Chaos control would be nice right about now.... Wait, is that an Anti-Chaos Control Tower? WHAT THE HECK?!?"
"I'll play an even bigger role in the sexpansion pack!"

All I can think of right now. To be honest I'm suprised no one had done a OVER NINE THOUSAND or CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS by now. Ah well. There's my 3.14 cents.
 
K

Koyanova

Guest
"Lets play frogger! Hop, Hop, Hop, BAM DEAD."
"Don't kill me I'm a... virus checker!"
"AHH! This movie is so scary! Too much blood!"
"HA! I'm in front! Agh dang my leg..."
"WAAAAAAAGH! Oh wait thats in warhammer."
"What's next, turtles?"
"I am NOT doing this again."
"Hey guys, I eat nails for breakfest. Uhoh. Those are arrows..."

"I wish i had divine shield so much... not shadowmeld, I cant run in that."
"Divine sheild sucks dude. I'd get inferno and use it to destrooy their towers."
"Good idea."

"You brought a laptop here?"
"Ya, I havn't died yet anyways."
"What are you playing on it?"
"Im modeling a creature for Warcraft3."
"Give it a fur coat. And some claws. And a beaver tail!"
"And a duck bill!"
"WOW WHAT A FREAK!"
(Somewhere, a platypus cries...)
 

Knight7770

Hippopotomonstrosesquiped aliophobia
Reaction score
187
  • It's just a flesh wound!
  • I fart in your general direction!
  • And then, the oral sex!
  • Let me face the peril.
  • I'm not dead!
  • Construct additional pylons.
 
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