My Heart

Hero

─║╣ero─
Reaction score
250
As you stand there infront of me.
Ideas run through my head.
What is this I feel?
Why do I feel this way?
Why can't I help myself?
I just keep falling.
Falling for you.
Now my heart belongs to you.
Its in your hand, you control my life.
O please say that you will not crush my heart and destroy my soul.
For I know you too feel the same.
You feel this way, the way I feel.
Our souls are meant to be together, free as a bird.
Together we can fly, fly up as high as we want to go.
Together we can live and together we can die.
I belong to you, you belong to me.
But what if it doesn't work out?
What if you don't feel the same?
What if I am just confused?
What if I do not feel?
Our minds separate still think the same.
Our hearts confused still feel the same.
No matter what we do or what we say.
We always seem to feel the same.
I know this feeling.
I think it's called love.
So this is what it means to fall in love.
I feel so happy, like I'm the king of the world.
You say this everyday, that you feel the same.
We do not talk, not even one word.
Our hearts talk for us all the time.
We enjoy each other's company everyday, we think of each other, with each dying breathe.
Life isn't short...well at least not as short as it should be.
For everyday away from you feels like an eternity.​


_________________

Well..when I think of this girl I truly love..this is what comes to my head..I tried to make sense of this complete randomness...lol..please bear with me.
Its not a poem..its more like thoughts on paper.
 

Atreyu

One Last Breath.
Reaction score
49
Dang.. You're lucky.. You really love your girl. Same as me but she loves someone else.. =)
 

UndeadDragon

Super Moderator
Reaction score
447
It's very good IMO. Sounds good and I don't think the topic is that bad. +rep.
 

DM Cross

You want to see a magic trick?
Reaction score
567
it's well written, the topic however is as boring as it could possibly get

"Criticism" like this is useless. You tell him something is boring, but refrain from going into any kind of detail on WHY it is boring, or what is boring about it.

Actually, you've gone into no detail about anything with this sentence.

Vague positive criticism is fine, but when the criticism is... Not "negative" per say, but still not positive, it's helpful to add something constructive, which you haven't done.

I disapprove and as such, have -repped you.

Have a nice day.
 

Seb!

You can change this now in User CP.
Reaction score
144
I liked it because it was fun to read. The last line was my favorite.

"Criticism" like this is useless. You tell him something is boring, but refrain from going into any kind of detail on WHY it is boring, or what is boring about it.

Actually, you've gone into no detail about anything with this sentence.

Vague positive criticism is fine, but when the criticism is... Not "negative" per say, but still not positive, it's helpful to add something constructive, which you haven't done.

I disapprove and as such, have -repped you.

Have a nice day.

Wow...
 

Hero

─║╣ero─
Reaction score
250
I liked it because it was fun to read. The last line was my favorite.



Wow...

Thats actually my favorite part..and the one above it.


Life isn't short...well at least not as short as it should be.
For everyday away from you feels like an eternity.
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
Can't tell you why, but the following phrase really stuck out, in a really good way:

'No matter what we do or what we say.
We always seem to feel the same.
I know this feeling.
I think it's called love.'

Yeah man, I don't know what it was, maybe because similar thoughts have crossed my mind many times, but I liked this part especially.

Pretty decent little 'poem', for wont of a better word, that you've got here. Glad you have such strong feelings for someone, bud. Take care.
 

Hero

─║╣ero─
Reaction score
250
Can't tell you why, but the following phrase really stuck out, in a really good way:

'No matter what we do or what we say.
We always seem to feel the same.
I know this feeling.
I think it's called love.'

Yeah man, I don't know what it was, maybe because similar thoughts have crossed my mind many times, but I liked this part especially.

Pretty decent little 'poem', for wont of a better word, that you've got here. Glad you have such strong feelings for someone, bud. Take care.
I believe these feelings cross everyone's minds every once and a while.
 
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