Crimson World (Emo Poem?)

[Xapphire]

This is a story of my carved out time,
As I have committed a crime,
As I sat there locked in the corner of a twilight cell,
Chained to torment, restrained in h***,
The white sun, transparent to the blank eye,
No time to say goodbye.

The Crypt of blinding rage,
disturbing at every page,
as we meet the era of the age,
the cell and my dreams, hopeless as it seems,
a comparison called
The Crimson World.
Seems I'm addicted to this H***
My soul afflicted to this cell,
of my burning heart
as it F****** pulls apart.

I try to get back together,
I say I must,
But all these problems, make the dreams all dust.
And my thoughts crumbled in this nest,
As I am slowly laid to rest.

There's an open door,
Inside my empty core,
It's a brutal rip and tare,
Even though it seems unfair,
I don't F****** care,
And after torment and pain,
I End up somewhere,
In the end of this forsaken game,
the Crimson World without a name.

All these thoughts are getting to my head,
I might as well just end up dead,
That's what you always wanted,
That's what you always said.
I'm going to take it to the grave,
There's nothing left to save.

And as I travel through these worthless lies,
the truth keeps growing in endless size,
for inside I only see death in my eyes,
and inside the Crimson World,
I shall stand up and rise,
And meet everyone's demise.

I'm trapped in this never ending season,
In this Crimson World.
I look, I hear, I think, for no reason.
And I realize, as I try to set myself free,
There's no lock, for this rusted key.
Non that I see.
Is there any hope for me?

I'm stuck here with this blood as ink,
I see nothing but the black, in every blink..
As I carve the walls with my hypnotic screams,
I yell and cry all of my dark dreams.

This is for all my friends, who know the drill,
Know I'm up for the kill,
All of them who I trust and respect, yet still,
They show me that they don't trust or respect me back, that they don't care,
But they are still my friends, the ones here and there, everywhere,
I just want to say, I'd die for anyone of you,
I'll always think bout you guys no matter what I do.

I'm like the soldier on the Field,
Protecting my friends with my life, the weapons I wield.
They are my armor, I am their shield.

 

[Pineapple]

le mot juste.

You shouldn't censer your work. If its the right word then let it be what it is. If its not the right word - replace it

 

[Xapphire]

Well, i was kind of scared what would happen, I mean we got like Acehart spying from every computer haha, and Thehelper checking at like 1000 pages per second....

 

[DM Cross]

le mot juste.

You shouldn't censer your work. If its the right word then let it be what it is. If its not the right word - replace it

Wrong. We support improper language being censored.

 

[WastedSavior]

Wrong. We support improper language being censored.

I disagree, i think we should never encourage a censor.

Instead of censoring your work and taking away from the value, simply put in the beginning that those faint of heart should not continue. That way no one is offended, and your work isn't disrupted.

 

[Xapphire]

Wrong. We support improper language being censored.

Well Acehart, Thehelper, sorry Seth, I forgot to add you "always watching"...

I'm kind of on both cases, as censoring is efficient, and on this type of forum and site, there really is no harm in censor as it shall not do any bad, and this is not a large writing forum to begin with, just a thread, topic, section..

On the other side, we should allow people to state their opinion as no normal phrases can say what thou can say with words...

 

[WastedSavior]

"Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth."

 

[Xapphire]

Yet there is no meaning nor truth as it is, for half is hid from us, and we are being deceived to, might as well go along with it, it shouldn't hurt..

And if it is not a problem, can someone C.C? We went far off topic

 

[WastedSavior]

I felt that it dragged on a little long.

 

[Xapphire]

Hehe, I had to add some phrases haha

 

[Fatmankev]

"as we meet the era of the age,"

I'm sorry, but this line just baffled me. I have no idea what it means, what point you're trying to get across, and for some reason it really seemed to bother me. I couldn't read the rest of the poem after that.

 

[Xapphire]

Well you need to get indepth in it a bit, see, I was really depressed when I wrote it.. so.. my mind kind of.. woosh... read the rest... NOW....