Civillian's are rude

[denmax]

In my opinion, getting to be called "sir" or "ma'am" doesn't mean you are respected.

Why would people call the higher or the older "sir" or "ma'am"? For the reason of that they think it's respectful, but really, they are not giving respect at all.

For me, respect is giving consideration, or treating someone special, because YOU want to. It does not give respect when you will not mean it. I call you sir, but I hate you, really doesn't make any sense, correct?

It should be that people shouldn't act like an idiot thinking that they should call someone sir or ma'am because it would be respectful. I call my mother and father as mom or dad not because it wouldn't be respectful of calling them by their name, but because I want to respect them and their authority over me. They are okay if I call them by their first name but I do not insist. I call my teachers sir or ma'am not because everyone else seems to call them by that address, but because I want to show respects to their power. I give respect to everyone that accepts who I really am, not some snot-nosed kid, or some dude with money to give, which is my life before and right now.

I don't call my friends sir or ma'am, not because it would sound weird but because you won't really consider them as friends if they are not respectful to you, nor are you respectful to them. If you want to show respect to your friends then I would say call them by their name, not by saying "Hey you!" or pointing.

Anyone can be rude, or call names. It's really their choice if they resort into being rude, which I rarely do to my friends, teachers and parents (note: rarely, meaning, I still do, heck I'm not as good as you are). I am not intending to insult anyone reading this or has posted in this topic, but what I am simply saying is addressing someone as sir or ma'am alone couldn't show real respect.

Some people really just need to emancipate their stupidity. Clearly they are in bondage of it. - =P

 

[Varine]

I call my mother and father as mom or dad not because it wouldn't be respectful of calling them by their name

Uhh... I would be pretty pissed if my kids called me by name. By calling them mom and dad (or mother and father as it was in my family) it never showed that I recognized their authority or because I respected them, because after I turned like fourteen I pretty much told my dad to fuck off and did what I wanted (thus getting me a much lower status in the will). It was because I HAD to address him with respect. It was either sir or father, or Mr. (insert one of the like five names my family had). Same thing in most military branches, maybe not Air Force because that branch is really lax; you HAVE address anyone with even remote authority over you with respect regardless of whether or not you like them. At least if you want to have a somewhat good experience under them, if you want it to suck do whatever you want.

but what I am simply saying is addressing someone as sir or ma'am alone couldn't show real respect.

It's not real respect; I rarely have respect for anyone I address as such. It's just considered a respectful insert for a name that you don't know in the civilian world (generally), or because you have to at times (like in the military). Think about it, if you help someone, it sounds more respectful, regardless of whether or not you care, if they say, "Thank you, sir," as opposed to "Hey thanks guy." All in all it's just a more mature form of address.

I mean, I don't disagree with you really (except with the kid part; when I have kids they can hate me all they want but they better call me Dad, Father, Sir, or if they want Mr. Varine). No one under me calls me sir, which technically they aren't told to do because I'm a Sergeant so usually I'm called by rank, because I haven't done anything that's terribly impressive in my life, other than fuck every relationship I've had up which isn't something I want to be recognized for but everyone knows it anyway. Especially in combat they can't call me anything that would make it seem like I'm remotely important.

On a side note, kind of relevant, when I went to weekend training when I first enlisted there was a kid that got in so much trouble because he never called this one girl that was a Sergeant at the time Ma'am or Sergeant. Not by her, she didn't seem to care, but by the Sergeant First Class who got pissed.

 

[DM Cross]

In terms of the "mom" "dad" thing, not everyone [not every culture, anyway] does things like you do. I have friends in Denmark who think I'm crazy for calling my mother and father by those names instead of their first names. There it's a sign of respect to use the names instead.

Someplaces are backwards, though

 

[Seb!]

If you treat everyone with respect, it kind of takes away the value when there is someone who actually deserves respect.

 

[Varine]

Just get over it. It's social standards that have been set by the society you just signed up to defend.

 

[1JadedJen]

regardless, if you're young i highly suggest you start making steps towards being more respectful, or at least showing it. little things like saying Sir or Ma'am make a huge difference and it will be noticed

SWEET!
I am old, hence I am off the hook!

 

[CaptDeath]

interesting topic i think one should but i dont think any one would call me sir cause im only a teen but its not necessarily what you say[beyound expletives] but how you say it if you go "SIR SIR SIRRR!!!!!!!!!!"[or MAM...] that would piss me off
but on topic yes they are cause every one lives in there buble
and teachers near the end of the day are always bitchy reguradliss
people are generally rude cause they want to be alone yet have freinds
they want to hurt them selves and feel no pain
they want to gorge on food but cant
so when it comes to manners
they think
i can be nice but F*** dat
unless there are in a organization which tells them other wise or religious > 1%
like me im a boyscout when im in uniform or not i treat every one with respect unless they come up to me and swear at me[ive been mistaken for other people] and well i could deck them walk away or go excuse me i want to deck them which brings me back to the point people want to ruin your day to make them selves better as opposed to sucking it up and spreading some nice around

 

[chovynz]

An illustration.

In Japan it is considered polite and respectful to slurp your soup when you eat/drink it.
In most Western places it is considered rude to do the very same thing.

The soup hasnt changed, the person eating the soup hasn't changed, the flavour and action using the soup up hasnt changed, it is only the "society's perception" that has changed.

Apply this to this thread's many topics, and you'll understand what I'm saying.

 

[Varine]

In Japan it is considered polite and respectful to slurp your soup when you eat/drink it.

Are you sure?

 

[sqrage]

Are you sure?

Seems to. I learned this from Tom Green.

Further proof:

... Noodles:

Using your chopsticks lead the noodles into your mouth. You may want to try to copy the slurping sound of people around you if you are dining in a noodle shop. Rather than being bad manners as Westerners are often taught, slurping noodles is considered evidence of enjoying the meal.

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2005.html

 

[FireCat]

Rude if someone not say Sir or Ma'am? it doesn't mean respect at all and
it's only stupid if someone force other to say that or even be mad over it.

 

[dalmauvais]

Military Respect

Just a note: in the military saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" is initially meant as a sign of respect to a persons rank. I've had plenty of officers that I thought were complete jackasses, but I still called them "Sir" because I respect their rank and the responsibility that comes with it. If I happen to respect the person, then so much the better.

It's the same thing coming down the Chain of Command. If an officer calls me "Hey you" instead of "Chief," I can guarantee you I am going to square him away pretty quick.

Secondly, addressing people that way is used for discipline. Without people knowing their place in the military hierarchy, the machine breaks down and you don't want that on the battlefield. Saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" is a small reminder that someone is above you in the Chain and their orders are to be followed.

In the civilian world you would use those titles to be courteous and polite.

The "Sir" and "Ma'am" in the military is used to show respect to a rank and to help enforce and promote discipline. Just my two-cents worth.

 

[chovynz]

Are you sure? (about soup slurping in Japan)

Fairly sure .
My family has had many Japanese boarders over the years. They and their culture completely fascinates me. We've asked them many questions.

On topic: In case anyone missed it, you can call something rude or disrespectful all you like, but it depends on what the context is. If you are used to someone listening to you, someone ignoring you could be taken as rude (where they are probably occupied with their own things and didnt hear you). If you are used to spitting in other peoples faces (certain tribes in Africa) to show your respect to them, the you could take it rudely when a white guy extends his right hand.

Do you know all the customs of the people that you meet? Military and civilian are "different societies". What applies to one doesn't necessarily apply to the other.

I'll take my own family on both sides as an example. Both are white European pakeha's of New Zealand descended from England. Both are low class, "low income". Both are in the same branch of Christianity. Both belive in the same God and has very similar values. Both have similar financial troubles and other things, Both live in the same town about 2kms apart. But...

Both family's Christmas "traditions" are incompatible. One likes to open one present at a time and "savor" the giving and opening. The other likes to open presents in a "shark feeding frenzy". One family is concentrated on rules, the other on fun. In the one family it is considered rude to put your elbows on the table while you're eating, in the other it's not even a consideration, they do it without second thought. In one you take your hat off inside, the other doesnt matter. In one you help yourself to served food at dinner time (because if you dont, you'll go hungry when there were 10 kids), in the other you make sure others have food first, and offer any leftovers before taking them.

In my family we dont even follow many of both traditions that we've grown up with. Rudeness and Politeness, just like many other things, must be done in context. I've been rude to my own father, but not out of spite, it was out of defending my own personal boundaries. I told him something over the phone ("That's a guilt trip and I dont want it Dad") and he disagreed, and started lecturing me. I hung up the phone in his mid-sentence and we didnt talk for 2 weeks. But after we were able to talk again, I noticed our relationship had improved. Was what I did rude or respectful? from one point of view it was rude, but from another it was respectful.

While this is kind of getting away from the OP, the principles are still there. While Sir and Ma'am might be "respectful" in the army, you can say those out of duty and not be respectful at all.

Respect is an internal attitude, rather than the outward things we do. It's not as simple as "Civilians are Rude."

 

[Varine]

My family has had many Japanese boarders over the years. They and their culture completely fascinates me. We've asked them many questions.

Well I know that, I've just never heard the slurping thing before. Not that I've really spent much time there.

 

[Zakyath]

I'm pretty sure that the chinese (since my dad's been there several times in the last few years) make a lot of sounds while eating too. whether it's rude or not, I have no idea

 

[BANANAMAN]

We interpret people to be either rude or respectful depending on our own view of things.

So there isn't really a moral code that spans all cultures.