My ''own'' bag of jokes

[DM Cross]

That post just seriously tempted me to give you -rep to show you that selfish acts are really not appreciated here.

I'm furtherly tempted to close this, knowing the hidden motive behind it.

 

[Crusher]

Removed Because of someone -_-

 

[darkRae]

No matter how 'true' that 'truth' is, you still cannot make jokes just in order to get more Reputation.
Like, they are just (notice the Italic) Reputation !!
I (and probably most Mods and Admins) don't know why people care so much about getting Rep points.
You don't die if you lack Rep

 

[Bartuc08]

No matter how 'true' that 'truth' is, you still cannot make jokes just in order to get more Reputation.
Like, they are just (notice the Italic) Reputation !!
I (and probably most Mods and Admins) don't know how people care so much about getting Rep points.
You don't die if you lack Rep

yea but u might as well kill yourself, hell if my E-penis was that small i know i would

lol jk mate. but rep ain't everything, just something to chuckle at when u see what u got it for.

 

[Crusher]

Now its ok all...

 

[Crusher]

1 joke only for fun...

A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

 

[Crusher]

Death row in women prison

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

 

[duyen]

Isn't your joke above incomplete? What does the blonde say?

There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy, but then happy got out so they started feeling grumpy instead!

I rofl'd

 

[Insane!]

i dont get that joke

 

[duyen]

The dwarf one or the blonde joke?

 

[Crusher]

IT'S not for him stupid

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

 

[Crusher]

bump!

 

[Crusher]

bump!(24 h passed)

 

[thewrongvine]

Lol, I have a different version of that joke. I hope you don't mind me posting it here, if you do, just tell me and I'll take it off or something:

Spoiler

3 mice were about to be executed by the others for murdering other mice. The first mouse stepped up to the platform, and the executioner readied his gun. Just as he was about to shoot, the mouse yelled out, "Tornado!"

All the mice ran away to hide and the first mouse escaped.

The second mouse stepped up to the platform, and the executioner readied his gun. Just as he was about to shoot, the mouse yelled out, "Hurricane!"

All the mice ran away to hide and the second mouse escaped.

The third mouse stepped up to the platform, and the executioner readied his gun. Just as he was about to shoot, the mouse yelled out, "Fire!"

The executioner fired.

 

[Sil3nt]

^I've seen the "blonde" version of that joke xD, funny how i can actually see it happening.

 

[duyen]

^I've seen the "blonde" version of that joke xD, funny how i can actually see it happening.

Lol same.

 

[Crusher]

The english guy walks into the bar,and old russian too.English guy sits at the chair ,and russian too.The english guy says: One drink,Johhny Walker.The Russian guy says: One coca-cola,Stephan Ivankovich.

 

[FireCat]

is it your own jokes you post ? or you post others also ?
only curious.

 

[Crusher]

Some of them are from my friend,some from internet,and some from me

 

[FireCat]

Some of them are from my friend,some from internet,and some from me

I see ok. I asked because of your thread title.
When you wrote your "own" Jokes